"I am"prejudice

" I am " prejudice

We are constantly bombarded by the media with the news reports of hate crimes. Bigotry, infidelity, nepotism and crimes against cultural, religious,gender or societal groups are so common these days that it does not even phase us for the most part. We see these reports, it may make us feel sick and angry briefly but then we quietly continue our daily mundane lives as if all these things do not effect us. We act as if this is all just happening on television and not really to any one  individual or group somewhere else in the world and sometimes even in the next street or town over. The world has become a much smaller place to live in, and with continued depletion of earth's resources, we really cannot afford prejudice against anyone or any group lest it continue to plague us with violence, war, hate, death and destruction. 

Where does this prejudice come from? Clearly we know that little children do not have such attributes when they are born and while their innocence lasts, peace reigns. So taking a page out of their book several questions arise. At what point does this change for them? Is it when they enter preschool, kindergarden, or further on  in their educational and life experiences? How can we extend out this range of peaceful coexistence that they have revealed to us for the entire length of their lives?

Some answers may stem from the all mighty " I am " that develops very early on in our lifetimes. We have to create this "I am" in order to form this sense of self and belonging. We try to do this so that we understand our place in the universe, our place on the earth as we then try to broaden our sense of purpose. We embed ourselves into this identity that the ego formulates and so cannot change, or can we? We will join into packs and groups and work cooperatively as little children in school but any threat to that fragile ego or the self, results us in shutting down and protecting the " I am"  at whatever the cost. We form groups with other like minded individuals who are unknowingly also fearful. Then to preserve the " I am " or the newly formed "we are", we systematically gravitate to a single ideal not based in fact but more in fiction led by an individual ( arguably the most frightened with the most to lose), and rally behind them. The only way to preserve an ego is to stomp out all other egos with the declaration of not just " I am or we are" but " I am right and you are wrong". Armed with this mantra we proceed to dismantle the existent religious, societal, or  cultural structure of  others in a desperate effort of self preservation. It is truly a desperate effort as it is really just an expression  of the self, but since no one is listening to each other, the shouting to be heard becomes the typical mob mentality that we are accustomed to seeing. 

We are hardened by these reports and choose not to accept them as reality, as in doing so, it may just hone in on the fact that such things do happen and that any one of us could be victims of the same prejudice. So we choose to ignore instead of inspire change. We choose to hide instead of hinder the progress of prejudice. The next generation and the subsequent ones are inheriting a world of hate. An earth with scarce resources is what is being left for their future. You can try to change peoples minds with ideals, but you cannot change their prejudices with out changing their hearts. You change the hearts by making people want to change their Selves. If something is important to you or you know it will affect you adversely, you are conditioned and genetically programmed to evolve and adapt. If you realize that there is no threat, there is no fear. If no fear, then you give love a chance to grow within your heart, guided by the aware Self, you then change your mind. Perhaps finding differences in gender, race, religion, creed, societal and cultural values then does not become priority, and the shift to more pressing needs like reducing the burden of negativity in the world, developing peaceful cooperation and re-nurturing dwindling resources takes precedent. 

The " I am" should not to be quenched as one might think, but more  allowed to bloom with out the menacing fear of self annihilation. Children are amazingly adaptable and malleable. The role models of their parents,friends and teachers that they follow must be of sound mind, spirit and consciousness if we have any hope to survive as a species. When you find only one type of flower in an otherwise diverse garden, you do not just pluck out the flower but instead you try to grow that species of flower and broaden its survival chances in numbers. You give it the nurturing love that all life needs to succeed and thrive. If we see ourselves only as " I am" the unfortunately "We" will despair. Almost a self defeating prophecy occurs while trying to preserve the Self, we destroy the self and others in the process. When we harm another in thought, word or act, we have already harmed our Selves. 

When you see prejudice, do not turn a blind eye or turn the other cheek. Fighting prejudice is everyones problem not someone else's problem somewhere else. The " I am " concept in my opinion should be expanded to further words such as 

" I am more.." 

" I am love"

 " I am help"

 " I am joy" 

" I am kind"

"I am goodness"

"I am not prejudicial'

What extension to your " I am......" will you add on today?

Holding on to the reins

Holding on to the reins

The  freedom on the backs of a running horse, galloping on an open terrain, with the wind blowing in your hair gives you an exhilarating feeling. Bonded to the animal, you roam happily as you hold on to the reins and guide the adventurous experience. Similarly we live our lives for the most part in freedom, joyfully skipping and galloping away at times. When things in life are not in our control and they go awry that is when our horse starts behaving erratically. We get perturbed and subsequently we tighten the reins and pull harder and harder. However exactly the opposite effect occurs. The tighter we pull, the more strangulation of the horse occurs. It does end up stopping the horse, but it does also stop us dead in our tracks in life. The more control we think we are trying to exude, the harder things actually get.

The purpose of using the reins is to guide  the horse directionally. So too we try to "control" the behaviors of others to bend to our will. This unfortunately backfires when the strings of control are too tightly bound or we are holding on too forcefully, that our life stalls as we literally choke the life out of our relationships with others. Easing up the reins, enables us to breathe life back into the relationships and the horse is able to continue its journey without fear of the rider, you. Being connected  with the horse is as important as the horse being able to trust you. Such is the nature in any relationship, be it parental, spousal or a friendship. You cannot exert so much force on another individual that the reins or ties that are meant to navigate the relationship, bring it to a choking stall. 

Let go of your need for control, and enjoy the "horsing" around and the riding experience. The native americans used to have a unique bond with the horses such that they would ride the wild horses with out the need  for ropes, harnesses or reins. The animal and the rider as one. Freedom to enjoy the company of each other and the journey that is undertaken galloping on the fields of life is a blessing and an achievable goal. It all depends on your willingness to pursue this goal. It depends on your willingness to let go of the reins. It depends on your willingness to accept yourself with confidence. Such that you are not only confident in your relationship be as a rider or with another being, that you do not need a hold on anyone. That comes from freeing yourself from your own reins, and your own ropes that you have tied upon yourself with fears and self doubts.

Are your reins too tight or are you going to run with a wild horse?

Hearing the foghorn

Hearing the foghorn

It is early morning, the sun is barely up. In the early parts of dawn, you are in the water in your row boat. Off to your task of fishing, you head towards the middle of the lake. Surrounded by the morning mist, the scene is quiet and untouched and peaceful. However as you approach the middle of the lake it becomes foggier, and foggier. Visibility is next to nothing, and you lose your orientation in space and time. What I have just tried to describe is a typical scenario of confusion in our lives as we continue to deeply pursue a course of action whether in a career or a relationship. That is just the nature of things. There comes a point where you are so involved in what you are doing that sometimes you lose sight of your geographical surroundings and spiritually are adrift. You ask yourself what am I doing here, and where am I going? 

Disconnected and lost, it becomes scary at times feeling alone and genuinely frightened as you have no way of reorienting to your familiar points of navigation. This can be in a job that you are at, where the running of the company has been so disjointed that you are disheartened,dazed and desperately searching for your place. This feeling can be in a relationship that has flourished for a while but now you do not know who all the players are and moreover why the various family members  are acting the way they do. There then becomes the concern of the family or job falling apart. "Lost in the fog of life " is something that happens to everyone at some point in their existence. Unfortunately it is inevitable. However getting out of this state is not as hard and impossible as one might think. You have to listen to the foghorn of your soul to redirect you out of the fog. 

If you quieten  your agitated  mind, you can hear the solutions coming from within. Your true Self talks to you all the time, but unfortunately we do not listen as we are too caught up with our erratic thoughts that run our lives into a tumultuous ride. You will come up with innovative ideas of how to bring the family back to a sense of warm well being and connectivity. You will have the bright sparks of reformation that  will make your job more smooth, efficient and productive. Being caught up in the fog does not help matters. Listening to the foghorn you navigate forward, backwards, or sideway as you steer your rowboat in the direction of the guiding sound. The louder it sounds, this means that it is filled with  more positive energy, and the closer you are to reaching the shore. The softer it is, the less positive energy and further away from shore, and the further away you are from reaching a solution and destination.

The world is a beautiful place to be, just as the scene of the serene lake. Life happens and so the represented  fog can choke us into stagnation right in the middle of the worldly lake. Yet as with everything in nature, no fog lasts forever and it will dissipate. The morning sun with its radiant energies burn up the fog revealing the clarity and the beauty of your life once again. The fog of ignorance  is dispelled once the knowledge of the self takes hold. The  row boat, namely you, returns safely to land carried in tow  by the energetic foghorn of your soul's brightness, positive light and fully awakened status. Being consistently  mindful helps to keep your row boat balanced and always heading in the right direction, yet an additional tool that is always present and ever ready to help you is your personal soul's foghorn. It is eternally playing its tune to keep you navigationally sound, whether you heed its warnings and solutions also determines whether you find the shore line of peace or stay in the fog. 

How loud is your foghorn today?

I am stuck and I can't get out

"I am stuck in my routines and hate my life, and I cant get out"

 

I hear this from many friends, family and strangers and it happens to me on occasion. The inability to change your environment is a very disconcerting and awkward feeling. It gives us the sense of lack of control of our lives and it becomes demoralizing. With no way out, we resort to the continued struggle of our daily existence without hope. This unfortunately further digs our disappointing holes and we lead down the path of despair. How do we get this way and how do we get out of this rigamarole?  In my opinion we get into this rut by not being aware of what is happening to us when things do happen and by allowing this cycle to continue. By being flippant or brave  we keep shelving issues and locking them away into the drawer and not dealing with them either because  we are too busy and not focussed or out of fear of having to deal with the issues and facing up to the consequences. 

Nature is all about balance, and one good thing is that nature will make us face up to the imbalance even if we do not feel like it.  It does this by the way the state of affairs makes us feel. You do not feel good, you seek out better health. You are too stressed, you develop ill health that forces you to change your ways. You are unhappy with your life, you feel the urge and the need to self preserve and modify your life. The more aware you are as life gets "thrown" at you as it happens moment to moment, the less you have to make a radical shift to fix the disequilibrium. Small adjustments to your attitude regularly will then not necessitate major adjustments later. By being focussed in the moment we actually deal with things as they happen fresh, versus dealing with them later, and then having to deal with not just one issue but a mountain of issues. We think by postponing issues we are being brave, but in fact its because of deep seated fears that we enjoy staying in our ignorance and in to the ostrich hole. 

What are these issues? These are everything that comes our way in the form of stimuli. How we end up reacting to them determines how full or empty our drawers and in-baskets of misery get. Some examples. 

The pangs of hunger.... we reach out for the chocolate  donut in arms reach. We end up with sugar highs and lows, and feel horrible and in stressed conditions overeat. These continuous habits like this may lead to obesity and diabetes. We are miserable and curse the consequences and blame others for this problem that we are in. Solution, reach out for a healthier snack, and watch what you eat, quantity and quality.  If we were more aware of the moment we should be able to be conscious of what we put into our own mouths.

We need to exercise....instead we feel tired and do not seize the opportunity to get into a better healthier routine, and then ill health sets in with complications. Being aware that the feeling of tiredness will be just transient we can overcome it and then "persuade' ourselves to go exercise. 

The child is crying and trying to get your attention....you turn on the TV and say watch this for a while, just so you can get some peace and quiet.The digital babysitter becomes the digital parent and then you have lost the opportunity to bond and connect with your child, that just needed a few minutes of connecting time. It then becomes too late when they are older to change their habits. Playstations, gameboys, xbox then become their friends. Try pulling them away from their new friends now. 

Impulse buying.....you see an advertisement, or an item in someones' possession and believe owning that item will make you superior or better off. You spend your earnings accordingly and then later regret being in debt from maxing out the credit cards. Simply pausing before the purchase and thinking whether the impulse felt is a necessity or not, changes your spending habits.

A disagreement with a friend or family member... you believe your point of view is correct, as usually is the case. You refuse to think about another point of view even for a second lest your ego is bruised. A fight ensues and you refuse to talk to the other person for a period of time. Hours, days, months and years may go by. That person may have even died, and now no chance at forgiveness and remorse to set you free, despair sets in, along with guilt. The chance to have said sorry, or completed the unfinished conversation lost, the misery lingers.

The unhappiness at the job.... you continue to keep accepting the abuse, till one day all you are doing is the job for the sake of a paycheck that you are beholden too. The reasons for why you did the job in that profession lost, you are miserable, unhappy, and lose your lustre. Solution was simple to begin with, in that you deal with the coworkers or the job tasks at the time they were getting overwhelming or borderline abusive and taken corrective action. 

The impatience to get to work late....you started the day late, you rushed out the door and drove too quickly and got a speeding ticket. A little more mindful and cautionary driving would have avoided the ticket. A regrettable and unnecessary choice that in hindsight could have led to a different outcome had a shift in consciousness occurred. 

There are countless examples unique to each individual but common to us all, that occur constantly in our daily lives that impact us detrimentally. Layers and layers of issues that are generated constantly, that pile up high till one day you are stuck in the mud. Unable to move out, unable to move forward. Stagnant, hurt and upset you exist and forget to live.  A life full of different choices that make us feel that many  bad choices were taken, ergo when we should have zigged instead of zagged, and the inertia of our lives sets in. The key to getting out of quick sand or mud is not to fight it, as that makes it worse. How do we get out of the sticky mud?

Gratitude. This is one of the fastest ways of realigning yourself with the universe and the abundant energy available to pull you out of your predicament. But how can you be thankful for the rotten things that happen? That is exactly the point, letting into the force that holds you, releases you too. Gratitude stirs up positive energy, which helps attract more positivity that finally helps break the shackles. Once broken, the shackle of your fears cannot hold you down and then you start changing the orbit of your  life to higher levels, and your problematic issues descent to lower levels. At higher orbits a different perspective ensues, leading to more unlimited possibilities. 

Start off with simple gratitude exercises, such as nightly "thank you" for 5 things that happened to you that day.  Whether it is as simplistic as "thank you for being alive" or "thank you for being able to eat a meal" or "thank you for being able to come home". Whatever the list, it has be yours, and not necessary to share it with anyone. As you progress, expand the exercises to 10, 15, 20 etc thank you encounters. If you choose to increase the level of difficulty of the exercise,  you can make them non repetitive as your gratitude circle expands.  Then in the morning before getting out of bed, come up with 5 things that you are going to be thankful for in your day. Let the miracle unfold as your exercises turn into positive energy creating wands. Then like Harry Potter, start waving your positive energy directed wands at your mud. Visualize yourself coming out of your "stuck"situations, and walking free on top of the mud piles. Now walking on water, I leave that up to the professionals, which if I am not mistaken only one person has done that in history !! 

Free of being stuck? Help someone who still is....

Leaving a mark without a trace

Leaving a mark without a trace

Foot prints in the snow. Graffiti on the wall. Memories of your childhood interactions. Musical pieces, artistic paintings, Sculptures and statues. You. What do all these items have in common? They all have one unifying thread and that is they still are here and they tell a story. The footprints in the snow tell the tale of a journey. The graffiti and the paintings reveal artistic impressions. The music and sculptures demonstrate creativity. The greatest of all these stories and creations is You. It is your creations that tell the story in whatever format, pictorial or musical. 

Through out our time here on the planet we have left our mark in some fashion. Right from cave drawings to magnificent works of architecture or creations of technology we leave our mark for future generations to remember us. It is our own personal sense of immortality. The memories of our childhood are filled with tales of relatives long ago who did this or that, or those living elder relatives that had some impact on our lives, are the memories we cherish. Stories round the proverbial homely campfires are told, legends are forged, and immortality attained. We all want to leave a mark of ourselves, an imprint if you will.  Whether it is something that the world sees or just a child. You may not remember your grandmother too well, but you do remember those words of wisdom passed down by her, as well as her special recipe of your favorite feel good dish.

Kindness, empathy, forgiveness, gentleness and selflessness are just some ways you can start impacting your own soulfulness unto others, be it to a friend, a family member, a stranger or the world as a whole. Soon these qualities will form joy, happiness, instill confidence and a sense of fulfillment in all that you touch. You initiate the forging of memories through your connections with others, and so the ripple effect continues, and your immortality is ensured. Never underestimate the imprint  you can have on anyone through your interactions. If you do, you have only underestimated yourself. There is an old saying a penny saved is a penny earned. You may think that this is a really bad savings plan, however you will be surprised how one small investment in kindness leaves a small trace, which then expands to a seed of generosity in someone else. This further evolves to a state of abundance rapidly, and then preserves a mark of peace. Scarcity to abundance with one little act.  Show up and leave a mark.

Dig your heals deep and do something creative that bears your mark. Leave a trail of bread crumbs of goodness throughout your life. Find your talent. It is not a question of if a talent exists, it is simply finding out what it is. Whether you are good at just listening to others, or helping others, or creating a work of music, art, sculpture. Whether it is mediating, negotiating, or fixing.  It is a talent that makes YOU  unique. The universe with its infinite variety and diversity also made you and left its mark in this world through your existence. The trace is there. Will you leave this world without a trace or with trails blazing is still up to you while you still have the time. 

Make your mark count but go easy on your carbon footprint.

Getting off your gerbil wheel

Getting off your gerbil wheel

Day in and day out the monotonous routine continues. Mundane programming takes over and the daily grind of chores, habits, mindsets are set in motion. No variation from the habit patterns of the mind, leaves you much akin to a gerbil. 

Except you are the gerbil and your life is the wheel. Run as fast as you can, your treadmill of an existence does  not change. You can try altering directions, but in the end the wheel is still circular. Where you start is where you end up and vice versa. Disappointments and the sighs of dejection set in. This is usually accompanied by unhappiness and ill health of the mind, body and spirit. You have to be careful as if you ever lose focus of your routines, you fall off the wheel leading to a bad outcome. How can you change this concept such that your life is not the wheel, but the wheel becomes the vehicle to catapult you to the next level?

Faith is a feeling and quite powerful. Faith in the universe or the Creator only takes you so far. Faith that your life will get better, only gets you to the next rug of your wheel as you continue to go round and round. Faith in your Self gets you to the knowing that you can get off your wheel. Gratitude for the  next level before it even begins, gets you ready for the launch to get off your wheel of life. However, it is not until the leap is made that faith and gratitude can be energized into a manifestation through your actions. Where do you get this ability to leap, one might ask? Awareness and mindfulness are not adjectives  but in fact are the stepping stones for your leap. Letting go of your fears, your "buts", your doubts, and your "what ifs" releases the chains that are holding you down with such gravitational force that you accept it as doctrine. Gravity is ever present much like these fears and doubts  but if not tested and released you cannot achieve  escape velocity to fly.

 Running on your wheel is one thing, but flying off the wheel is another new exciting and exhilarating dimension that is begging for you to try. Divert from the norm. Try changing up your life right down to the daily ablutions. Let us say that you put your shirt on first, then your skirt or trousers, then your socks. What if you change it and do these things out of sequence. Since you are doing something different, the mind has to pay attention, lest you forget to wear trousers that day and step out of the house out of sorts. Try a different cup of coffee, or vary your breakfast routine. Try a different route to work, or a new exercise regime. The mind has now becomes aware of the moment. Becoming more care free and less in control, starts the power of faith that despite no control of the simplest of things the bigger things in your life will fall into place. The act of acknowledgement that everything will be in accordance with your ideals, activates the gratitude factor. Before you know it you are off your wheel and heading in a different direction altogether. Stay alert, awake and aware so that you do not unknowingly fall into another wheel of your own creation. 

It is your wheel of life, do you want to keep spinning in one location or jump off and see what else a gerbil can do ! 

Waiting for the printer

Waiting for the printer

You hit the print button on your chosen document. Sitting there you watch for the printer to start humming and feed the paper and start printing your request. Boredom, impatience, and frustration set in. How often do we experience these sensations that lead to our irritability, anger, and then furious state of our minds as we lash out at the printer for not doing its job in an expedient fashion. Why do we always expect everything and subsequently everyone to work at the speed of our mind, when we ourselves are unable to do so. If we are unable to even control our thoughts, how can we expect to handle the technology that we control. Technology of the present day is expected to work at lightning speeds and resolve our numerous issues. But the questions really that we should ask ourselves  is what is driving these issues and what are these impulses that are  driving us? 

The pressures and expectations to quickly get answers and results through either technology or tasks that we assign ourselves and unto each other are some of these issues. We live in a world that is so fast paced and spiraling out of control that we are lost and get caught up in the moment of the whirlwind  of technology. We have to answer that text message or email immediately. We get  suspicious if there is not a reply fast enough either. We neither afford the chance of a meaningful discussion, nor the ability for a sensible reply. Being in the moment is a good thing, but not being aware of the moment is a lost opportunity. Technology drives us, but where are we heading? The impulses that are driving us stem from the agitated mind and persona of our egos. They are the ones who are actually texting and emailing and communicating with all the other minds and egos. The middle man, albeit the most important, namely our nature of the soul, is unfortunately left out. 

By pausing for a moment, we instantly become aware of the moment. Mindful is  not the same as mind full. Through this momentary pause, we actually bring the spirit, our true Self into the picture and transition better into the next moment with meaning and purpose. Slowing down our reaction helps us realize that the technology that we have created is marvelous and to be equally respected. If you respect the inanimate, only then can you respect the nature of things around you, and respect others, ergo respect yourself. We are easily perturbed when it takes longer than a second  for the phone to dial out. When you realize that a signal from your phone has to be sent via energy waves beamed to space, bounce  off a satellite, and then find the other phone somewhere else on the planet is a feat unto itself. We have come a long way from carrier pigeons, but maybe the communicators in that era had time to think of their messages and sent more meaningful thought out replies. 

So the next time you are printing a document, calling someone on the cell phone, emailing a letter, or replying to a text, pause and allow yourSelf to participate in the process. Waiting to print a document may just give you the few seconds or minutes to be more mindful of your breathing. You do not need a set time or place to meditate .You can meditate anywhere or anytime, since your breath goes with you everywhere. Focussing on your breathing enables this shift of consciousness, and with each breath you become more aware. The more aware you afford yourSelf, the more you awaken. With more documents to print, the more you wait and breathe and awaken.  Maybe waiting for the printer is  not so bad after all. Now waiting for a photocopier to complete your task, now that is a different story. 

How many documents are you waiting to print today?