Defining Yourself

Defining yourself.

This is Susan she is the daughter in law of the famous Mr JohnSmith. This is Peter, he is a doctor. This is Mary she is the neighbor of that senator. This is George, husband of .....

Too often we are introduced as a family member of another, or the profession we hold, or the geography of where we live. Sometimes the introducer elevates their own status by adding descriptive adjectives to the introducer. This is an age old custom of human nature. This may be the way we are introduced but over the course of time we adopt that title set forth by society and shaking it off becomes hard. It becomes the definition we carry, like a word in a dictionary that can be looked up, we are the defined by what we can be looked up to in society. When that relationship falls or changes so does our definition into the past. We need new definitions and identities. Or do we?

Why do we have to define ourselves? We do it for the sense of belonging, a sense of time and place. We do it to ourselves, allowing society to make that definition for us. Letting go of the old names and adopting new ones that truly define us as who we are ,is the key.  We desperately need to be label free, but define ourselves as what the universal soul sees us, from within. Generous, kind, limitless, happy, passionate. Once we adopt these titles defined by ourselves versus those given to us, we then occupy a new space and then act in accordance with our new title, and then become more generous, kind, happy and passionate. 

Interestingly when our definition of ourselves changes and not necessarily in a positive way, society will view us differently. For example, John got divorced, he is a divorcee... James lost his job, he  is unemployed... Then we are not talked about by people in the open but through whispers and eye gestures. We no longer hold the power to elevate someone else's status, and so are disregarded. The rest of the story is never told. Perhaps John was in an abusive relationship and has to save himself, or that James was tired and frustrated in his former employment and needed to change.  

An idea was once introduced to me by a friend. Imagine you are sitting at a table with friends and eating a meal, and you come across some food item you do not like. You immediately say " This tastes horrible, I do not like it.." If you were not the one to make the food, it is so easy to comment, but 2 scenarios occur. What if the chef is unknown to you and is your friend and is present. You have insulted your friend at the table. If you did not know the chef you have just insulted someone else. If you cooked the food you would not dare to say such a comment, and moreover be devastated if someone else made a similar comment. In all scenarios, an insult does not change the food, only the definition you attach to it. Irony is that yet you consume this food with a negative thought, how do you think it will change the negative vibrations that then ensue in your body. What have you now defined about yourself? You are willing to eat at a table with friends, throw out negative comments with negative thoughts and words and make a food negative while taking it in to you, thus generating negativity. People will view you as a negative individual. 

I am not that what you say I am, but that what I say I am and I be.  

How will you define yourself today and forever?