Thursday, August 4, 2016

My search for imperfection

My Search for Imperfection.

Searching for imperfection? Has he gone mad ! Are we not all looking for perfection? Do we not hear perfection in the sounds of a well played musical piece by a practiced orchestra? Do we not see a perfect rainbow in nature and appreciate its supernatural perfection? Do we not taste a delicious mouth watering spice simmering delicacy at our favorite restaurant? Do we not touch exquisite finely imported Egyptian cotton and praise its perfection? And do we not most certainly smell the heavenly scents of a jasmine flower and proclaim " Ah this is perfection?"

NO !  None of these above examples are perfect. My senses are imperfect. My ears are full of wax, my eyes carry the burden of spectacles, my taste buds have been burnt with hot coffee, my once finely sense of touch has been worn by age and calluses on the finger tips, and my keen smell sense has become dulled and  obstructed with pollution and allergies. How can I possibly hope to attain perfection when I am limited with my highly underdeveloped 5 senses. So I hope to attain and be satisfied with one step less than perfection. Or perhaps a few more notches down, known as a state of imperfection. 

It is only the "feeling" behind my perception of perfection that I exercise that gives me the satisfaction of perfection attainment. So why am I bursting the balloon of the spirit of perfection?   I am not. I am inflating the ball that will one day be kicked so high up that it may in fact reach perfection itself. It is only when things are imperfect that I can appreciate the imperfection at the most subtle level and appreciate the feeling of perfection. I usually feel this way when it is something that I cannot achieve. I am searching for perfection inherently, yet what I am actually achieving is imperfection. The imperfection of the not perfectly crafted instrument, the imperfection in the grain  lines of the canvas or the brush strokes of the artist, the imperfect quantification of spice proportion in my meal, the imperfection due to the inadequate and uneven thread count of my quilted sheets, or the cross contaminated smells in the air as I sniff my jasmine flower.

 Sound, Sight,Taste, Touch, Smell. Imperfect in my imperfect  physical aging body. Yet my ego self seeks the perfection of my higher Self that is always perfect as it is not of this realm and in doing so sees the imperfection and wishes to make it perfect. That my friend is the nature of imperfection. Seeking more than one is. Seeking and searching and finding that which I am through imperfection  as a stepping stone to perfection. So I take myself off the mantle. I rest with the acceptance and knowledge of who I am. A totally imperfect being, with imperfect thoughts, words and actions. Phew ! and the pressure is off. No expectations for myself or for any body. 

I find my imperfections to be perfect. I find my "perfections" to be imperfect. Two sides of the same coin. I don't know. My suggestion to myself that has worked pretty well till now, " aim for the stars, you may not get them but you won't be left with handful of dirt either" 

So how imperfect are you? I love you exactly the way you are, you are perfect :)

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