Not another selfie

Not another selfie

Click click click. A picture of myself is taken. I post it just as fast on a social media network or send it to someone by email or text. In this world of super fast and ever faster evolving  technology I am sucked into the vortex of instant gratification through emails, texts, messenger apps on my mobile device yet so too is my ability to share my "feelings" and my "moment"with the world with a press, push or tap of a button on my phone. I can also use apps such as Skype, Tango, Fb and a whole host of others to not only to create selfie shots but bring my friends from across the world into my live moment via video chat and instant sharing. This ability has exploded to a total state of madness. I take shots where ever I go and during whatever I am doing.  I whip out my camera phone so fast that even the fastest  gun slinger in the West would have been awed. I  sometimes forget even why or even when I was in that moment. These selfies have taken a life of their own.They occur with friends, with family, with trees, with happy moments, and with moments I do not even remember occurred etc. etc. They pretty much document my entire existence. Thank fully I am in these pictures of life, since I was beginning to wonder if even I exist or if these moments are just a figment of my imagination. 

I find myself at an impasse. What am I doing? And why am I doing it? The obsession of recording my life moments comes with ease partly because of the facile technology that is at my fingertips. In olden days you would have to rely on your memory for your selfie moments, and the memories of others who shared these times with you. The digital age has made things easier for me that thinking and remembering is no longer second nature. It is so easy to " google" anything right from my symptoms and what treatment I should pursue to the automatic 'suggestions' at the corner of my screen hinting to me of what I should eat !  However I often wonder at times at what expense do I owe to this new age of ones and zeros. I have to pause and ask whether I am taking the picture of self to chronologically document my life's moment and experience or am I really doing it to show to someone else that I am having a great time, ergo they are probably not. This is a big distinction. The first option is myself taking a picture rather the second is my ego taking the picture. If I choose to share the selfie my ego is  essentially saying " look at me I am awesome.... and secretly I hope you are jealous," otherwise why else would I share the picture. If I take a picture and never share it, then it may be truly for self preservatory motives. However let us be serious, who really has the time to just take pictures for their album when the button of  "share" is sitting right in front of me and is one tap away from going viral. 

I must admit it is very hard for me to make this separation. It forces me to face feelings of Self and ego that are too difficult and too painful especially when my Ego takes hold. On the receiving end of these selfies from others I must admit the pangs of irritability do raise their heads and gnaw at me. All sorts of hidden subconscious feelings emerge. " Why are they having so much fun and why can't I ?" " It must be so nice to be rich to enjoy that meal or vacation etc...." " He must be doing well to be doing that..." " She has a lot of time on her hands...I wish I had time too...." And so on and so forth, the questions and the ego driven answers of envy, jealousy, bitterness, frustration and anger are all dancing away in the background. Sinister as it may sound, my psyche is not the  only one that does this. Yours does it too. Constantly. This is actually quite normal and in some fashion even healthy. I am human. You are human. We are human. The key for me is to understand the distinction of my choice, and choose wisely. So now I use selfies as a means to an end or moreover as a tool to deliver a particular message. 

I believe if I pause before the act of sending the selfie, I become more aware of the act of what I am doing. I can then choose to share it or not. The more aware I become of these choices, I can then pause before the selfie is taken. In doing so I am now able to decide for whom this picture is being taken. Self or Ego? If the latter, I now use my will power to avoid taking the picture. By no means am I saying that you do not use your GoPro, or mobile device to take pictures of self, just make sure it is the true Self you capture in the photo and not the ego. I find my pictures are better and are valued more when the Self emerges to have its photo captured versus the automatic pursed lips version of my Ego. 

Cheese !! , your Self came out for that Selfie !!