Thursday, March 31, 2016

over correction

Over correction 

I once thought that this idea of over correction was a good one. To me it meant doing more, becoming better, pleasing others. Over correction or over compensation in all areas of life is tricky business. Before long I found myself so far over corrected that getting back to center was more work than I had ever originally anticipated.  It permeates throughout mind,  body, spirit and consciousness. How does this phenomenon work? And why do we over correct? It has taken me a long time to recognize this as an issue in my life. Once recognized, my play back to the center at least stood  a chance. If unchecked, who knows how long this process would have taken. 

It starts off with the ideal that I need to strive to become better. Human trait, genetically designed, and a valuable asset in evolutionary progression, of this there is no doubt. Nothing wrong with that. Yet it must be allowed to flourish under my guidance and my control, and not be forced by any body else. How does this play out, I often wondered? So imagine a scenario. Being told as a kid that perhaps I should do better at a particular activity. Let's say sports. "You need to do better... you are not going to get anywhere if you don't improve.... look your friends run faster and got medals..you should too....." These were typical things I heard growing up. No biggie. They sat in my mind like thorns and I tried and I tried to do better. Since it was not by my choice to do any better, yet being forced on me, I probably did not do as well. I over compensated, I strained harder, probably pulled muscles, got hurt and now I resented sports activities. I  over corrected. Numerous examples such as these have affected me. The little seed of being pushed grew and then later in life, I try to do better, or work harder in order to please that little voice from decades ago : "You need to do better... you are not going to get anywhere if you don't improve.... look your friends run faster and got medals you should too....." Now it is a weed of resentment and hate in the things that I thought would give me happiness are in fact to my surprise part of world I unintentionally created for myself. Hmmmm. Over corrected? I over compensate in everything I do. Whether it is shopping, eating,  work, play, hobbies etc. etc. The list goes on. Over purchase, over indulge, over work, over active....You can pretty much put the word "over" in front of anything and that would be the definition of little old me.  

Now let's rewind to the very moment this seed was planted. Imagine a different scenario. A time when I was doing sports activites yet not pushed to fulfill someone else's incomplete dreams, and be allowed to just enjoy the game for what it was. I am happier because I want to play the game. I strive to succeed because that was my choice. I choose to perfect myself in the game and I push myself to my fullest potential, ergo I max out my muscles, stamina and energy and evolve on my own terms. A once possible weed for a future result is now a flower of hope. I stayed in my center and grew. Not over compensating yet doing exactly what I was designed to do, evolve naturally.  I suspect much of our problems stem from being overcorrected. This overcorrection infiltrates literally every aspect of our mind, spirit, consciousness and body. We all do it. I do it constantly, the only difference is that I catch my self doing it....most of the time. The little voice over corrects me while I drive, while I sleep, while I walk, while I exercise, while I eat, while I do anything. It takes a lot of effort to replace that little voice with one of my own. " I move through my life at my own pace, and with my own freedom" 

Once aware of this, I discovered I could ease off the gas pedal of my  life and conduct myself with more respect towards myself and with even greater strides. I now evolve into a more efficient being. A more complete design. Not death gripping the bicycle handle as tight. Making less drastic over corrections with the motorcycle steering. Letting go of the very taught rope of the sail. Arriving at more rational and less impulsive decisions. Becoming less dismissive of peoples' problems. Enduring more compassion to the needs of others beyond those of my own.   Intentionally feeling the moment rather than regretting the loss of the present. Not mourning the past yet celebrating the future. Less running around like a mad hatter and more waltzing into the correct gear. The cure for over correcting is not undercorrecting. I would not expect myself to abandon any movement of activity and sit on the couch. That would be counter productive and invite a whole host of other negative situations. 

The cure is to be. Just be. I cannot go and evacuate ALL the seeds in my mind's garden as I do not know which will hurt me and become weeds nor which will benefit me and  flower. Recognize the pruning process and accept it. Change requires EXACT change, not over or under corrected change. 

Sometimes it is the subtle things that get me back into this realization. How do my hands feel after driving? Too tight? How does my jaw feel? Too much clenching? How do my feet feel? Too much stamping? How angry do I feel? Too much correction and holding back my voice? How many times am I not paying attention to anything around me? Too much sensory overload and over compensation? 

Recognize, React less, Return to center.... just a thought. 

How tight have you wound yourself up today? Over corrected? 

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