A Fathers Day

June 16, 2013. Fathers Day is here again. It comes every year with great pomp and celebration with advertisements for dads gifts with special discounts and incentives for dad with competetive must haves like handy power  tools, executive desk toys, macho gardening implements and stylish clothing, all to cherish the fathers we have. Greeting cards galore that illustrate the father who sits in his big dad lazy boy chair drinking beer and doing nothing are in every store for the picking. But is that really the image that comes to mind when we think about our fathers. When we imagine our fathers when we are young little children, we can envision a man big and strong with unlimited intelligence, bravado, and ability to perform any feat. A man you can respect, a shoulder to lean on ( or leg depending on your size!), a confidante, a friend at times, a role model at others. Somewhere in the process as we grow older and independant we realize the fallacy and know that our fathers are not the "Man of Steel" and cannot really leap tall buildings in a single bound, ( not so sure about the look that could kill though !). We second guess their advices, brush aside the suggestions, dismiss their ideas as quick as dejavue, as we merge into adulthood.

A father's compassion and love for his child never dies. Being a first time father myself of a soon to be 2 year old, gives me pause at times as I can vividly remember his birth, his first few days and months, the first year, and every moment in between. The compassion and love is self perpetuating as are the lessons taught by generations of fathers. The wisdom accumulated over a lifetime of experience imparted to the child to help not hinder is one of the goals of an involved father. No father intentionally wishes to harm or hurt their offspring. I wonder what I am trying to teach my son, will it be remembered ? will it bear fruit later? I think it will as it shows each day as my son builds on the knowledge from the day before and integrates it with his daily activities.

So true it can be said with your Source. A Divine father wishing only the best for you so that you may rise to your greatest potential, yet our image of Him changes with our moods, our unfulfilled desires or fears. We discard Him when we are dissatisfied with the way things manifest in our lives, blaming him for our misery, yet plead for His mercy when the situations are dire. We did the same when we were children, always going to dad for help, but as we are older believe we are above it all and pride gets in the way of open dialogue, but when things are bad blame it on our childhood.

 I think that we should never forget this sacred bond and the relationship with our father (divine or mortal) since we live such short lives full of distractions. The time may come and go when you can communicate effectively all that you have always wished to say and feel but never had the opportunity to do so, leading to guilt and regret in the future.  So this fathers day if you have the chance, just sit by his side and enjoy the moment, whether you say a little or say a lot. Whether he says a little or says nothing at all, volumes are spoken just being there, being present, being together. 

To all fathers, fathers to be, a very Happy Fathers Day. It is an honor and a privilege to be one.  

Trading your happiness

We make decisions on a regular basis from moment to moment that affects us quite radically if we are not careful. We understand the concept of trading. You exchange one thing for another. But what you are trading must be of equal if not greater value. In our lifetimes, there are numerous examples of this and some transactions lead to a less than worthy exchange.This leads to stress, and unravelling of the mind, with a downward spiral of malcontent, frustrations, disappointment and eventual anger. Why was that trade not a good one, and what did we lose in the process. Sometimes we do not even realize the transaction until it is too late. When you swap one thing for another, and unwittingly realize that the trade was not fair, these emotions arise that will take you down the wrong road. Whatever you trade has to be fair, or you lose your happiness. What is the price of losing your happiness?

 

Imagine a dollar bill that is brand new in mint condition, and it now is launched into circulation. It changes owners innumerable times, changing hands,wallets, purses, cash drawers, and sometimes even goes through the washer  in a pocket of your jeans. But as worn as it might be, fraying at the edges, almost faded, it still holds its value. A dollar bill is a dollar bill till you give it away. And so is the case with your happiness. It is a very important commodity but we do not respect it and it leads to our eventual destruction and lack of value when we give it away. We succumb to the decisions of others either at home or at work or literally anywhere to shape our future, our happiness, our purpose and our lives. Is this a fair trade?

 

Living in the moment and enjoying the moment without fear or prejudice enables us to retain the integrity of that happiness. We can shape the way it looks, feels, and augment its power to unlimited potential all by a slight change and tweek of attitude. Close your eyes and imagine everything  that makes you happy. Whether it is a beautiful sunny day, a colorful flower, a child's smile, an unexpected call from a dear friend, a tasty treat. Anything that fills you up with light heartedness and joy and happiness. Now list everything that gives you unhappiness and makes you frown. Whether it is arguing with a coworker, fighting with a loved one over trivial matters, scolding a child for an irrelevant issue, panic over the economy or your job. Anything that resembles your fear, anxiety, or stress. Now do a tally. Are any items in the happy category worth giving up and being traded for the unhappy items? Like baseball cards are you willing to trade them for a lesser item? I think not.

 

Similarly we are in such a negative habit pattern that we automatically trade our joy, our happiness so quickly we do not even realize that the transaction has been made. Slow down, do less, and be more present and aware of your trading habits. Do not break the bank with so much of loss that you go broke with nothing left to trade because that is when your mental destruction is not far from you. Your lack of peace is never worth giving up for anyone else's happiness or for anything. This is not a selfish statement, since if you are happy and at peace, all you have to give freely is more of the same and when you are in that frame of mind, you are giving it unconditionally, and then the trade is like compound interest with no loss, and it grows and returns in leaps and bounds.  

 

Make your dollar bill value into a hundred dollars to make it worth trading. Your happiness is worth more than you know.