To be loved

When I have been wronged by someone it is so easy to judge, get  bitter, and become unforgiving. All I know is how I feel.  The anger, the hurt and the desire of revenge all become an amalgam of uncontrolled emotions,  a weapon wielded by an unsteady mind. Most of what people do are a reaction to something from their past. An experience that has conditioned them. Their reaction towards us becomes an outlet of process.

But what if we desired to meet them to understand their past, not to eventually hurt them in revenge but to love them so they themselves hurt no more. If they no longer hurt they can no longer hurt. Yet in order for this to happen I must first look beyond my initial reaction to their action and pause long enough to understand their past. I am merely a brunt of their frustrations and not a cause of it. Realizing they cause necessitates looking at their past.

Yet who really has the time to delve into a person's past? If your goal is to help and not be hurt, then at the very least for the sake of self preservation, this becomes a vital and integral tool. Allowing their past to breathe back into the present unfolds the anger and hurt and transforms it into love by simply hearing it.

Now what if this was done for you. Someone taking the time to understand your past to show you that you can and need to be loved and not hated. Would you react in anger towards them or would you turn your rage into gratitude ? We are not defined by our pasts, we are defined by what we do with our pasts.

Healing comes from loving the past and not by punishing ourselves for it. We all deserve to be loved.
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I love you

Appearances

Appearances

There are times when we make profound judgments based on appearances. Whether it is the color of our skin, or quality of clothes, or the way we speak or even as simple as our hair or the lack there of. I find myself also falling into biases from decades of conditioning yet letting go of many prejudices as I pause to reflect. Let us pick a simple one that is so common that we almost take for granted yet subconsciously will have preprogrammed judgments.

Hair. The color of hair seems to tell us a lot about a person's personality. The more exotic the color the more outward their personality. The greater chance that they are risk takers or do not seem to care for societal norms. Yet that would be completely incorrect as there are plenty of exotic spectrum colored haired individuals who could be rebelling their own inner worlds and are not as outgoing as you may think.

What does grey hair signify?

Age, wisdom,  experience are all synonymous with grey hair and totally normal. Some get  grey hair sooner than others. Yet how do we judge men versus women with grey hair. Differently. A man who has grey hair is revered as having wisdom and experience and treated with higher status than a great haired woman. A man is expected to have reached the pinnacle of his career and the sign for that may be grey hair. Yet a women can have grey hair and be subliminally thought of as an old crone whose days are numbered. Studies demonstrate that going grey ages women twice as men.

These lead to a tremendous number of observations that we make and how we treat someone becomes apparent. Men who turn grey are deemed "silver foxes" A term of obscure successful rank and status. Grey haired women are considered to have been worn out, and past their prime usefulness in society as we deem their responsibility of bearing children is over. And so the more grey haired they are, the more aged and so no longer "valuable " contributors to society. Yet we forget that this may have negative influences. Confidence, self worth and employment are all factors that are influenced negatively in older women. Their chances of finding a meaningful relationship partner becomes harder too, based on these ridiculous subjective ideas.

Yet when a man looks at a grey haired women they may see "age" yet what they are really seeing is themselves becoming older, even though they may already be older. It's a perception. Studies reveal that greater than 70% of women start to dye their hair within at least a year of seeing a grey hair. This mounts to considerably large expenses of time and finances spent in covering up a normal aging truth.

Pigment cells in our hair follicles die and then naturally the hair will have less melanin and thereby lose their coloring, ergo leaving the hair strand grey, silver, or white. This can occur at ANY age. So for the simple normal process of loss of melanin, we create such a great issue and judgment that effects women profoundly in every aspect. I am guilty of having these thoughts without a doubt. Yet once aware of my  thoughts the less likely I am of recurrently falling into the trap of them.

You may be turning grey. You look marvelous.

I may have lost my hair. I look marvelous. But that is another topic of discussion
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I love you

Finding your wonders of the world

Finding your wonders of the world

There will always be a time where the landscape of your mind is barren. Ideas may come and go yet nothing suits your fancy. The days, weeks, years may roll by. You may even feel dejected, bored, frustrated, depressed at the lack of creation. You may feel that rumors have been started about you foretelling  that you have not mounted to anything, or are not creative enough, or are not good enough or perhaps not worthy enough. These are all idle chatter of the winds across the desert of your mind carrying messages of doom.

Yet fear not. An illusion will soon become a reality. A dream born of the fires of passion of your  heart burns bright and lights the night sky. The oasis is nearer than you think as you traverse the parch-ness of your life. You had to walk those lonely nights. You had to feel your dreams unfulfilled. You had to yearn for your purposes to come to pass. It is this lack that fuels your need to achieve more. Achieve big.

As your life may lie as a plain untouched canvas as it does to an artist, the spark of creativity and wisdom blend into a  beautiful pictorial with a plethora of colors of inspiration in all walks of your life. Let go of the anxiety of performing on life's stage and just be. Be yourself and let that creativity flow. It is time to build the future of your dreams with fervor and love.

You have the gift of mastery of your reality. Choose what ever your heart desires and explore the possibilities. Your only barrier is the self limiting beliefs infesting your mind. Yet understand that this is also part the creative process, as if you did not have these beliefs, you would continually create and eventually burn out. These long pauses are much needed, in fact are essential to help you breathe life into your purpose and creation.

The magic is inside you. It always has been.
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I love you

Positivity, its not what its cracked up to be.

Positivity, its not what it is cracked up to be.

I can live my life with complete positivity and be surrounded by only positive thoughts, words, and people. I can listen to positive music, and read positive comments all day long. I can have motivators push me in a positive way at the gym, at work, or even at home if it comes down to it. Yet in the end it will be temporary and non sustaining. It is great to try to even  motivate others and presumably if it works, it is always a fleeting transformation that is never permanent.

A positive mindset achieves a positive outcome, a negative mindset achieves a negative outcome. A balanced mindset achieves a balanced outcome. For all those negative nellies out there, that try to pull me down and whom I get exposed to daily, I have 3 choices of interaction and outcomes. Firstly, to join them and fall into a negative state of being. Secondly, avoid them. Yet this useless act really only postpones the dealing with negativity and allows for someone else to step into that role a little later. Thirdly, I can interact with a balanced mind and understand why am I triggered by that negativity and attracting that person in my life. I can spend the time to try to bring that person out of negativity, but that would be more time wasted and an effort in futility, as everyone is responsible for their own emotional state.

For all those positive motivators out there trying to inflict their sense of right on the world, it is in fact their own effort in justifying only positive thoughts and not recognizing the negative in their lives and so over compensate by trying to sway others to their thinking. I can choose to again respond to them in 3 ways. Firstly join them and become happy and do cartwheels in my head. Secondly avoid them, yet they will be replaced by yet another positive annoying person that then leads me to the notion that I must figure out why are they  in my lives. What is the universe  trying to teach me? Thirdly I can interact with a balanced mind and understand where is the deficiency of positivity in my life that needs to be balanced out.

Positive and negative words or actions stem from positive and negative thoughts, which originate in the opportunities that the universe provides and arises to show me the opposite that is needed to complete my life. I have learned that I  neither need positive motivators nor negative naysayers in my life, yet I need both. I mus spend the time recognizing the balance of the two in every situation as it relates to every moment, situation, and person. In doing so I can create a more fulfilling life, an on purpose life, and an empowered life.
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I love you