Holding on to the reins

Holding on to the reins

The  freedom on the backs of a running horse, galloping on an open terrain, with the wind blowing in your hair gives you an exhilarating feeling. Bonded to the animal, you roam happily as you hold on to the reins and guide the adventurous experience. Similarly we live our lives for the most part in freedom, joyfully skipping and galloping away at times. When things in life are not in our control and they go awry that is when our horse starts behaving erratically. We get perturbed and subsequently we tighten the reins and pull harder and harder. However exactly the opposite effect occurs. The tighter we pull, the more strangulation of the horse occurs. It does end up stopping the horse, but it does also stop us dead in our tracks in life. The more control we think we are trying to exude, the harder things actually get.

The purpose of using the reins is to guide  the horse directionally. So too we try to "control" the behaviors of others to bend to our will. This unfortunately backfires when the strings of control are too tightly bound or we are holding on too forcefully, that our life stalls as we literally choke the life out of our relationships with others. Easing up the reins, enables us to breathe life back into the relationships and the horse is able to continue its journey without fear of the rider, you. Being connected  with the horse is as important as the horse being able to trust you. Such is the nature in any relationship, be it parental, spousal or a friendship. You cannot exert so much force on another individual that the reins or ties that are meant to navigate the relationship, bring it to a choking stall. 

Let go of your need for control, and enjoy the "horsing" around and the riding experience. The native americans used to have a unique bond with the horses such that they would ride the wild horses with out the need  for ropes, harnesses or reins. The animal and the rider as one. Freedom to enjoy the company of each other and the journey that is undertaken galloping on the fields of life is a blessing and an achievable goal. It all depends on your willingness to pursue this goal. It depends on your willingness to let go of the reins. It depends on your willingness to accept yourself with confidence. Such that you are not only confident in your relationship be as a rider or with another being, that you do not need a hold on anyone. That comes from freeing yourself from your own reins, and your own ropes that you have tied upon yourself with fears and self doubts.

Are your reins too tight or are you going to run with a wild horse?

Hearing the foghorn

Hearing the foghorn

It is early morning, the sun is barely up. In the early parts of dawn, you are in the water in your row boat. Off to your task of fishing, you head towards the middle of the lake. Surrounded by the morning mist, the scene is quiet and untouched and peaceful. However as you approach the middle of the lake it becomes foggier, and foggier. Visibility is next to nothing, and you lose your orientation in space and time. What I have just tried to describe is a typical scenario of confusion in our lives as we continue to deeply pursue a course of action whether in a career or a relationship. That is just the nature of things. There comes a point where you are so involved in what you are doing that sometimes you lose sight of your geographical surroundings and spiritually are adrift. You ask yourself what am I doing here, and where am I going? 

Disconnected and lost, it becomes scary at times feeling alone and genuinely frightened as you have no way of reorienting to your familiar points of navigation. This can be in a job that you are at, where the running of the company has been so disjointed that you are disheartened,dazed and desperately searching for your place. This feeling can be in a relationship that has flourished for a while but now you do not know who all the players are and moreover why the various family members  are acting the way they do. There then becomes the concern of the family or job falling apart. "Lost in the fog of life " is something that happens to everyone at some point in their existence. Unfortunately it is inevitable. However getting out of this state is not as hard and impossible as one might think. You have to listen to the foghorn of your soul to redirect you out of the fog. 

If you quieten  your agitated  mind, you can hear the solutions coming from within. Your true Self talks to you all the time, but unfortunately we do not listen as we are too caught up with our erratic thoughts that run our lives into a tumultuous ride. You will come up with innovative ideas of how to bring the family back to a sense of warm well being and connectivity. You will have the bright sparks of reformation that  will make your job more smooth, efficient and productive. Being caught up in the fog does not help matters. Listening to the foghorn you navigate forward, backwards, or sideway as you steer your rowboat in the direction of the guiding sound. The louder it sounds, this means that it is filled with  more positive energy, and the closer you are to reaching the shore. The softer it is, the less positive energy and further away from shore, and the further away you are from reaching a solution and destination.

The world is a beautiful place to be, just as the scene of the serene lake. Life happens and so the represented  fog can choke us into stagnation right in the middle of the worldly lake. Yet as with everything in nature, no fog lasts forever and it will dissipate. The morning sun with its radiant energies burn up the fog revealing the clarity and the beauty of your life once again. The fog of ignorance  is dispelled once the knowledge of the self takes hold. The  row boat, namely you, returns safely to land carried in tow  by the energetic foghorn of your soul's brightness, positive light and fully awakened status. Being consistently  mindful helps to keep your row boat balanced and always heading in the right direction, yet an additional tool that is always present and ever ready to help you is your personal soul's foghorn. It is eternally playing its tune to keep you navigationally sound, whether you heed its warnings and solutions also determines whether you find the shore line of peace or stay in the fog. 

How loud is your foghorn today?

I am stuck and I can't get out

"I am stuck in my routines and hate my life, and I cant get out"

 

I hear this from many friends, family and strangers and it happens to me on occasion. The inability to change your environment is a very disconcerting and awkward feeling. It gives us the sense of lack of control of our lives and it becomes demoralizing. With no way out, we resort to the continued struggle of our daily existence without hope. This unfortunately further digs our disappointing holes and we lead down the path of despair. How do we get this way and how do we get out of this rigamarole?  In my opinion we get into this rut by not being aware of what is happening to us when things do happen and by allowing this cycle to continue. By being flippant or brave  we keep shelving issues and locking them away into the drawer and not dealing with them either because  we are too busy and not focussed or out of fear of having to deal with the issues and facing up to the consequences. 

Nature is all about balance, and one good thing is that nature will make us face up to the imbalance even if we do not feel like it.  It does this by the way the state of affairs makes us feel. You do not feel good, you seek out better health. You are too stressed, you develop ill health that forces you to change your ways. You are unhappy with your life, you feel the urge and the need to self preserve and modify your life. The more aware you are as life gets "thrown" at you as it happens moment to moment, the less you have to make a radical shift to fix the disequilibrium. Small adjustments to your attitude regularly will then not necessitate major adjustments later. By being focussed in the moment we actually deal with things as they happen fresh, versus dealing with them later, and then having to deal with not just one issue but a mountain of issues. We think by postponing issues we are being brave, but in fact its because of deep seated fears that we enjoy staying in our ignorance and in to the ostrich hole. 

What are these issues? These are everything that comes our way in the form of stimuli. How we end up reacting to them determines how full or empty our drawers and in-baskets of misery get. Some examples. 

The pangs of hunger.... we reach out for the chocolate  donut in arms reach. We end up with sugar highs and lows, and feel horrible and in stressed conditions overeat. These continuous habits like this may lead to obesity and diabetes. We are miserable and curse the consequences and blame others for this problem that we are in. Solution, reach out for a healthier snack, and watch what you eat, quantity and quality.  If we were more aware of the moment we should be able to be conscious of what we put into our own mouths.

We need to exercise....instead we feel tired and do not seize the opportunity to get into a better healthier routine, and then ill health sets in with complications. Being aware that the feeling of tiredness will be just transient we can overcome it and then "persuade' ourselves to go exercise. 

The child is crying and trying to get your attention....you turn on the TV and say watch this for a while, just so you can get some peace and quiet.The digital babysitter becomes the digital parent and then you have lost the opportunity to bond and connect with your child, that just needed a few minutes of connecting time. It then becomes too late when they are older to change their habits. Playstations, gameboys, xbox then become their friends. Try pulling them away from their new friends now. 

Impulse buying.....you see an advertisement, or an item in someones' possession and believe owning that item will make you superior or better off. You spend your earnings accordingly and then later regret being in debt from maxing out the credit cards. Simply pausing before the purchase and thinking whether the impulse felt is a necessity or not, changes your spending habits.

A disagreement with a friend or family member... you believe your point of view is correct, as usually is the case. You refuse to think about another point of view even for a second lest your ego is bruised. A fight ensues and you refuse to talk to the other person for a period of time. Hours, days, months and years may go by. That person may have even died, and now no chance at forgiveness and remorse to set you free, despair sets in, along with guilt. The chance to have said sorry, or completed the unfinished conversation lost, the misery lingers.

The unhappiness at the job.... you continue to keep accepting the abuse, till one day all you are doing is the job for the sake of a paycheck that you are beholden too. The reasons for why you did the job in that profession lost, you are miserable, unhappy, and lose your lustre. Solution was simple to begin with, in that you deal with the coworkers or the job tasks at the time they were getting overwhelming or borderline abusive and taken corrective action. 

The impatience to get to work late....you started the day late, you rushed out the door and drove too quickly and got a speeding ticket. A little more mindful and cautionary driving would have avoided the ticket. A regrettable and unnecessary choice that in hindsight could have led to a different outcome had a shift in consciousness occurred. 

There are countless examples unique to each individual but common to us all, that occur constantly in our daily lives that impact us detrimentally. Layers and layers of issues that are generated constantly, that pile up high till one day you are stuck in the mud. Unable to move out, unable to move forward. Stagnant, hurt and upset you exist and forget to live.  A life full of different choices that make us feel that many  bad choices were taken, ergo when we should have zigged instead of zagged, and the inertia of our lives sets in. The key to getting out of quick sand or mud is not to fight it, as that makes it worse. How do we get out of the sticky mud?

Gratitude. This is one of the fastest ways of realigning yourself with the universe and the abundant energy available to pull you out of your predicament. But how can you be thankful for the rotten things that happen? That is exactly the point, letting into the force that holds you, releases you too. Gratitude stirs up positive energy, which helps attract more positivity that finally helps break the shackles. Once broken, the shackle of your fears cannot hold you down and then you start changing the orbit of your  life to higher levels, and your problematic issues descent to lower levels. At higher orbits a different perspective ensues, leading to more unlimited possibilities. 

Start off with simple gratitude exercises, such as nightly "thank you" for 5 things that happened to you that day.  Whether it is as simplistic as "thank you for being alive" or "thank you for being able to eat a meal" or "thank you for being able to come home". Whatever the list, it has be yours, and not necessary to share it with anyone. As you progress, expand the exercises to 10, 15, 20 etc thank you encounters. If you choose to increase the level of difficulty of the exercise,  you can make them non repetitive as your gratitude circle expands.  Then in the morning before getting out of bed, come up with 5 things that you are going to be thankful for in your day. Let the miracle unfold as your exercises turn into positive energy creating wands. Then like Harry Potter, start waving your positive energy directed wands at your mud. Visualize yourself coming out of your "stuck"situations, and walking free on top of the mud piles. Now walking on water, I leave that up to the professionals, which if I am not mistaken only one person has done that in history !! 

Free of being stuck? Help someone who still is....

Leaving a mark without a trace

Leaving a mark without a trace

Foot prints in the snow. Graffiti on the wall. Memories of your childhood interactions. Musical pieces, artistic paintings, Sculptures and statues. You. What do all these items have in common? They all have one unifying thread and that is they still are here and they tell a story. The footprints in the snow tell the tale of a journey. The graffiti and the paintings reveal artistic impressions. The music and sculptures demonstrate creativity. The greatest of all these stories and creations is You. It is your creations that tell the story in whatever format, pictorial or musical. 

Through out our time here on the planet we have left our mark in some fashion. Right from cave drawings to magnificent works of architecture or creations of technology we leave our mark for future generations to remember us. It is our own personal sense of immortality. The memories of our childhood are filled with tales of relatives long ago who did this or that, or those living elder relatives that had some impact on our lives, are the memories we cherish. Stories round the proverbial homely campfires are told, legends are forged, and immortality attained. We all want to leave a mark of ourselves, an imprint if you will.  Whether it is something that the world sees or just a child. You may not remember your grandmother too well, but you do remember those words of wisdom passed down by her, as well as her special recipe of your favorite feel good dish.

Kindness, empathy, forgiveness, gentleness and selflessness are just some ways you can start impacting your own soulfulness unto others, be it to a friend, a family member, a stranger or the world as a whole. Soon these qualities will form joy, happiness, instill confidence and a sense of fulfillment in all that you touch. You initiate the forging of memories through your connections with others, and so the ripple effect continues, and your immortality is ensured. Never underestimate the imprint  you can have on anyone through your interactions. If you do, you have only underestimated yourself. There is an old saying a penny saved is a penny earned. You may think that this is a really bad savings plan, however you will be surprised how one small investment in kindness leaves a small trace, which then expands to a seed of generosity in someone else. This further evolves to a state of abundance rapidly, and then preserves a mark of peace. Scarcity to abundance with one little act.  Show up and leave a mark.

Dig your heals deep and do something creative that bears your mark. Leave a trail of bread crumbs of goodness throughout your life. Find your talent. It is not a question of if a talent exists, it is simply finding out what it is. Whether you are good at just listening to others, or helping others, or creating a work of music, art, sculpture. Whether it is mediating, negotiating, or fixing.  It is a talent that makes YOU  unique. The universe with its infinite variety and diversity also made you and left its mark in this world through your existence. The trace is there. Will you leave this world without a trace or with trails blazing is still up to you while you still have the time. 

Make your mark count but go easy on your carbon footprint.