Breaking the blocks

Breaking the blocks

Enlightenment. A New Age term to an age old idea sparked since the dawn of time. A path chosen by some. A path desired by all. I am asked by friends about this path, about my journey. Some hear it and believe it is as a long and arduous one. They would most definitely be right. In my opinion,  "Enlightenment " is  not about progressing forward and being all positive, smiley and patting one on the back for achievements far and wide. The pretense of being all positive all the time is really one that suppresses all the turmoil beneath the surface. A broad bandage to cover up a roaring storm of the ego that lies underneath. 

Enlightenment has nothing to do with trying to become happy or sad. It is about the balance of being. Yet the process begins with the much needed complete destruction of old programming. Breaking down the blocks that have held one in the place they are in today. It is about digesting all the remnants of anger, prejudice, fears and older ideas that no longer serve. It is about unravelling the tightly knit wool of ignorance, and yes it is the same wool that will one day be used to build a warm sweater of security in the future. De-atomize, Destroy and Demolish all the unusable fabrics of emotional inheritance. Generational ideologies that were once held together by fears of a few have become the dogma of the many. Century after century these ideas have become towers and beacons of rigid concepts in our minds that serve a single purpose, to keep us chained. We must of course honor the past for all that it is. I am certainly not suggesting that we blow our ancestral heritage to a sour wind. Moreover indulge in the honoring processing of the past as it once served to the present. And all that does not bear fruit for the future, let it go. 

Paradigms, fears, rigid frames of mind, all swiftly brought into the the rubble of a new era.Traditional obedience without understanding is a kin to just standing in quicksand. Enlightenment is the breaking out of the rubble. It is the discerning of the untrue and raging forward. It is the climbing out from under the deepest darkest pile of rocks that have held me for eons with their weight of hate, injustice, prejudicial blinders and old aged lies.

 I climb slowly. I climb fast. I fall back down. I do this repeatedly. I seek out in the dark the edges of my imprisoned chasm. I feel for the rugs on which to hold my footing. I pause. I alter my route many a time. Up, down, sideways. For the longest time sideways and down.  Till one day I make significant progress out of the sharp, razor rocks of my mind's fears and my ego's grasp. I breathe easier and stand at the entrance of my once long dark tunnel in which I had fallen oh so many years ago. I peer into the darkness with a new tool I have carved while stuck down there. It has taken years to create. The tool of love. 

I am not enlightened, yet. But I am aware. I am finally awake. 

Breaking down the blocks, it is your journey too. 

The other is you

The Other is You

Felt that loneliness? 

Felt that longing for something more?

I have experienced that " je ne sais qoi" moment where I could not quite put my finger on what was missing in my life on numerous occasions. The feeling  of emptiness that is in my grasp to fill, yet always alludes me. My personal assistant who is never quite there yet craves for my attention and satisfies all my whims and fancies yet leaving me always for more. I am sure you have felt it  too. It always leaves me with the sense of hollowness that I am more, that there is more, and that "this" cannot be all there is or can be. The feeling of the unknown is a powerful one, yet it may not be just the unknown or what is the "next step" that is the trigger. 

A little exercise that I have tried is simply standing and looking at myself in the mirror. Without judgement, without conversation, without anything. Just stand and observe. Soon the seemingly endless moments are strung together into barely any time. They are transformed into an amazing awareness of what I feel and of what I speak. They are transformed into Me. An embodiment of my heart that I see before me in human form . My personal assistant revealed behind the shadows of doubt, suppressed under layers of distractions. 

I have travelled many paths and many lifetimes to get to where I am at this very moment. Yet this version of me has always been accompanied by the very loyal and very present Me. It has longed for my attention. It has screamed for my acknowledgement by granting all that I have craved. It has manifested every insane hobby and every sensory desire of my mind, simply to get my attention. Once received, all it needed was a warm embrace and immediate justification is manifest, and the loneliness is gone. It is the bridge between the past moment and the future moment.

 It is now. It is me. It is Love. 

The very embodiment of you, the very nature of me , that is waiting so ever patiently to materialise and for our mind and ego to acknowledge is none other that the true you, known as Love. The desperate emptiness is filled. The unclear paradigm is resolved. It was never about the next moment "to do", it was always this moment "to be." The innate feelings of separation since we stepped onto this planet has come a full circle. The painful longing of completeness was never for any one or any thing, yet more for the moment of awakening to the Self. The separation was the void. 

The void has been filled with the knowing of You. 

The other that you seek as you hide away amongst the blanket of distractions is You, known as love

The other that I seek through the eyes of non judgement is Me, known as Love. 

All of my yesterdays

All of my yesterdays

I am. I am here in this moment. I did not get to my present stage of life by chance. I am the sum of all my past experiences. The culmination of the triggers of the past.They were neither good nor bad. They just were. It is only now that I realize where my path has been and where it has taken me. A long winding path of heartbreaks, disappointments, frustrations and disagreements. Thank fully an even longer detour of discovery of joy, happiness and love. 

Triggers of the now that were once long seeded in the past from childhood misadventures or fruitful endeavors. Fears of others slapped onto my sub conscious made into my own.  False tales of half truths disguised as teachings and outdated concepts thrust upon my being, coexisted with all of my own learnings for decades. No more. I have metabolized all that I was. I have put down the heavy bar bell of my jubilations and my equally weighted fears. Dropped down like a rock with a cry of relief at the end of a long arduous workout. 

All of my yesterdays have fortified me to change and move forward in every way of my life. Forgiveness, understanding, and compassion. The unveiling of my worst and best natures as one would open the curtains welcoming to a new dawn. All that I am and all that I am not. Known.  The good and the bad experiences have all funneled into  the present version of me. It has always been my choice of how that facsimile is to be  manifested. It is my choice to embrace all that I am for better and worse and then recreate myself, till one day in the long distance of the future, I can re-look  back at all of my yesterdays and gently reshape myself in that timeline. The process of evolution continues one day at a time. Re evaluate, Re examine, Re shape. 

It is now the silent and resolute bidding of farewell of all that has bound me in crippling fears. All that has kept in my "smallness. "  To unchain old karmic debts, and even older hurts. To smell the air of freedom with unconditional love. To keep my feet firmly in the earth's green thick grass and reach up with outstretched hands to touch the twinkling stars. To harness all that I am, and all of  my dreams and make the unseen into the seen. Unconscious into the conscious. The magic of it all is still jaw dropping as I humbly stammer out the words with flowing tears " this is my life". I own it, I feel it, and it is mine. 

All my yesterdays are here with me right now. Catalyzed and transformed. I let them go.  For now looking forward to all of my nows as they unfold into all of my futures. 

 In the end simply....I am. 

Cut copy and paste

Cut Copy Paste

These days with the advent of smart features on the key board and touch screen we can simply" cut, copy, and paste" This unfortunately recently happened to a dear friend and author. She is internationally renowned and well respected in her field. She put up a poem that was written with deep heart felt space from her soul. Beautiful words inked out into the digital print for all to read. Well someone just "cut, copy, pasted" it to their own website and let it out for all that person's viewers to read. No acknowledgement of origins, no recognition of the author. Simply cut, copy and paste. I see this all too often as literally it is as easy as that. The maneuver is so easy that  it can be  done with a thumb on the smart phone !! How do I know this ? I have done it. And odds are you have done it too. Unconsciously click.. cut..copy..  paste or  even the cut..copy.... print. Well the wheels of the mind got turning as usually only odd situations do. 

I find my self so easily cutting.. copying and then pasting ideas into my subconscious and then adopting them as truth . Discussions about politics or religion or loose gossip   expediently transform into "real" facts and I will then share them later in idle conversations. No filtering of fact or fiction. Out they come. The scary part is that they are believed by others who I speak to without question, for the most part. Which then triggers in me the desperate need to clarify and make sure that I am always speaking my truth. 

If it is that easy to cut.. copy and paste useless falsehoods into my brain, then surely it should be that easy to supplant them with better ideologies and truths. Unfortunately my ego sometimes is too strong and it immediately replaces fonder memories with insignificant confusing minutia that bears no relevance on my day to day  existence. I am eagerly trying to break out of bad habit patterns and replacing them with more efficient patterns of consideration, love and compassion. Well, Work in  progress. Still trying to avoid the "cut copy and paste" function before I have to do the "Cntrl Alt Del" function !! 

Cut Copy Paste.....Do you know what you are cutting, copying and pasting??

Life is like a multiple choice test

Life is like a multiple choice test.

I have been told that when doing a multiple choice test  (MCQ) test that the answer is always B. The other day I was told by someone that the answer is always C. Yet another proclaimed " no way the answer is always A." Alright then, now I am very confused. If the answer is always one particular alphabet then do I just pick that answer and fill it in throughout the entire answer column? Is that not more hoping that I will be randomly lucky to get a few answers right with that one chosen alphabet versus potentially getting a lot of the questions wrong by focussing only on one answer. Is the choice of the alphabet specific to the person doing the test? Does this even work? Or perhaps the MCQ test answers are just a random array of choices. Well your guess is as good as mine. Get it? Guessing answers !! <silent chuckle>

Yet if this last statement is true and that anyone's guess is as good as anyone else's choice , then we all have an equal chance of getting the question correct. However I have  often thought that there are more than one correct answer for any given question. After all does it not depend on the perspective of the individual. Different points of view is what makes the world a more diverse place. It is our desire to live in a shade of beige believing that there is only one answer to everything that  stems from the fact that most people would rather be told what to do, what to think, and what the answer is. No effort is simple. Secretly deep down we ALL crave the freedom of choice, yet few truly believe that it is possible. Old memories, old programming, old fears. Overwritten, our inner hidden treasure of choice remains elusive. And so we pick the choice that has been handed to us and call it fate or destiny or we simply shrug our overburdened shoulders and call it "life." 

It takes a lot of effort to dig deep and embrace those fears and let them go. Even more effort to acknowledge that those fears were ever there and are real. Been there since birth, childhood, adolescence, adult hood till now.   Gnawing, festering, and decomposing our thoughts, these fears shackle us down and prevent us from making our own true independent choice for ourselves. Instead we choose, I choose from the choices given to me and I pick. Invariably wrongly. A or B or C or D. Yet what if the answer is F. It may not be on the pre manufactured answer column yet the answer may not be what is given. F for free, F for freedom, F for fabulous, F for First. It takes the ultimate effort to not only acknowledge the fears, dig them up, embrace them, but to let them go. How do I know this ? I have done it. 

Life is about choices.

 Life is about making the wrong choices and then figuring out the right ones. 

Life is about sticking to the choices that you make with conviction. 

Life is about making choices from a place of love and compassion. 

Life is about making choices from the heart space.

 Life is about making choices and surrendering them to the universe. 

Life is about the universe helping me and you make the correct choices. 

Life is about making multiple choices. But not for a test but for fun. 

Agree or disagree? Your choice :)

I Love You for your choices.