A new year 2018

A new year....

Winter is here.

 Nature gets ready to nestle into her cold bed as the blanket of snow packs down hard. All creatures know it is time to rest and hibernate. It is the last phase of an endless cycle of the 4 seasons. The surface is cold and unforgiving as is the moods of depression, beaten holiday spirits with stress and anxiety, and the heavy burdens of unresolved emotions pressured to be claimed before the year end. I furiously write out resolutions that will never see the light of day , the knowing of which secretly looms in the unseen of my  unconscious mind  with fear and destain. 

Beneath this tundra of fragile and frigid stillness is an aliveness. A beating pulse of genuine desire. An emotion birthing within the confines of a new born heart ready to take on the expansiveness of the universe. A hot glow of creativity, passion and zeal. 

Unconditional love.

Its  roar of freedom is thunderous and deafening yet muffled beneath the icy cold surface of despair. I summon the strength of the ages and with a cry of anguish coupled with joy, I surrender. 

I let go.

It is with this liberating act I find the Herculean stamina to  exit my inertia of what has felt like an eternal ice age and rise towards the gloom. I break free from the chains of the burrows of my mind. I emerge from the darkest depths of the ego branded with fear. I feel my warm hand pierce the white surface of pure cold snow. I poke my head out to breathe the crystalline air of freedom. I crawl  out of the prior year into a new year. Yet this is not about the new year it is about the new versions of You and Me. 

It is from the depths of our sadness, hopelessness, abandonment of ourselves that we are are resurrected with conviction of love for our Self and the divinity of others. It is the courage of this very conviction that will anchor us feet first into a new world, a new earth unfolding beneath our feet. With our awakened eyes we see the universe with compassion, understanding and the expansiveness of our own hearts in others. We connect in this new year to the blue lit sky, the far off  pinpoint  stars, the endless worlds of infinite universes and the boundless beings around our very person. Top to bottom and back again the pillar of our own light finds the solace that you and I so desperately seek in the name of Love. 

A new year arrives. Pomp and celebration to some. Fear and despair unto others. The calendrical feat does not cast judgement or prejudice. It is steam roller of time, " out with the old, in with the new" it proclaims with jolly laughter. The past is the past. And that is where our old stories should remain. Surrender is the release. It is the transmutation of our unchanging immortal  spirits as we dive into a changed temporary physical form from one year to the next. 

Love is the fire that burns bright and so immeasurably as it metabolizes the plagues of my past into a transformed future. I sit on top of the fallen snow amongst friends, family and mySelf in front of my sunny raging fire, sharing songs of the delightful future, and behind me lies the shattered hole from whence I rose, deep deep below the blackness of my former hate. 

Will you join me?

Hailing  you a Happy New You and New Year. 

Wishing you a healthy, prosperous and magical everything, with love. 

the Solstice, she is here

The Solstice, she is here.

Dec 21 not just another day that arrives after Dec 20. It is the beginning of the winter solstice. A harmonic balance is achieved as in the Northern hemisphere the first day of winter heralds  a time of slowing down and inward reflection. While in the Southern hemisphere the beginnings of summer and  the outward expression of the inner knowing. As I begin to slow down the pace of my mind to align with this divine day, the beating heart of my soul paces faster to cultivate the world within. All that is hidden from sight is unearthed to the surface to gear up to the nature's spring of my soul. 

The  Dark Night of the Soul is the Winter solstice that longs for the cleansing of mind, body and spirit. The Solstice is more than a calendrical or celestial event. It is a portal of divinity and transformative light that allows the battle of  the hours of light and dark to synchronize and unravel the messages of a sacred heart. Digging deeper unravels the higher frequencies of my destiny that lay dormant. Connecting my spark of divinity to that of the fires of illumination of a Cosmic Essence is the process that is unleashed with the Solstice. 

She asks of me nothing but my earnest desire to travel from my heart to my mind and then back again to my heart space from where I was created with the enormity of love that will manifest. It is the journey back that is the hardest for which I ask the Solstice for her patience and support as my egoic mind will certainly put up a valiant fight. All that pains must be healed and balanced in order for a synergistic relationship with the self and the Self be forged. Light is shed upon the darkness of my wounds as the outward time of daylight begins to increase, so too  I feel the breath of renewed energies fill my being.  On this day of bordering light and dark, the veils of the universal knowing begin to be lifted and a glimpse into my own inner vibrancy is revealed. 

The balance is restored as the Southern Hemisphere initiates its blooming of spring. Hibernation gives way to the blossoming of a resolved heart. Tapping into the field of infinite consciousness nurtures my spirit for the long sleep allowing the engine within to cleanse all that must be metabolized.  Divided the energies are different yet together they are the whole. The winter feminine inner reflective energy is connected to the summer masculine outward energies of the planet that affords me the opportunity to create an accountable and responsible future. With this polarity a direction of  travel is born.

Ask of the Solstice your innermost hopes, dreams and desires to be brought into the light. Allow the inner traumas to be healed and resolved. Give yourself permission to become whole. 

What calls your heart? Listen. 

I am sorry

I am sorry

There are days that just feel wrong. All I can say is " I am sorry" and then wait. No words are formulated and no preconditioned responses can be regurgitated. Immersed in the throes of patient care, it is very easy to be fully focussed on treating the disease and not the human being in front of you. Compassion and empathy are tools of necessity yet there are times when I feel inadequate with even these in my armamentarium. The best example is when I have to inform the patient about bad news. Their health is failing or they need to undergo a major invasive life changing procedure. Yes it may be for their benefit, yet the shock is at times too much for patient and provider. Regardless of disease be it cancer or heart disease or anything beyond a bunion removal ( being facetious) the seriousness hurts our psyche and fears set it.    As physicians we are taught through experience to dawn the time honored tough coat when breaking bad news. Unfortunately, this strips me of my humanity as well as rendering me naked with compassion and pain as I wait for the information to create some assemblance in the patients' distraught mind. 

The wait can feel like an eternity, yet it passes with tears, fears and anger that finally reach the surface. No one ever wants to hear bad news about their health, yet it is the product of an ailing body that will aways fail or succumb to unwanted disease. When the anguish has settled a new opportunity arises that must be seized by both patient and physician. The patient can be pulled out from the blackness of almost despair by the ropes of connection and security in an undestined relationship to begin a different path.

The tough news once catabolized gives way to the avenues of healing. This is a special journey as both the patient and the healer partake. Healing is always two ways with healer also benefitting. With a sense of genuine love for another human being, there lies the cultivation of healing that has infinite potential  of success. When both healer and patient bridge the gap of disease and treatment the seemingly endless horizon till better health does not seem that vast. Anything and everything can be shifted with the energy of love. 

When holding space for a patient, friend, or family member I would suggest involving this powerful  energy in the mix. What unfolds is boundless healing. I can say " I am sorry..... " but I can also say " Let's get you feeling better" ( from a space of love).

You can too. 

Last one standing

Last one standing

Ever wonder what happens to everyone? Ambiguous certainly. You and I walk the streets daily sometimes making eye contact with passerbys, and sometimes totally absorbed in our heads we miss our fellow humans. Yet what if you saw someone for the last time before they went about their daily routine only to never complete their day. Who would remember them? Family, perhaps. However what if you were the last person to their last imprint of a memory. Would you honor that memory? What responsibility of consciousness would you bear?  

I had a patient recently who had come to the office for a check up. He walked out of the office and left the building and turned a street corner and was randomly shot. I will never see him again. Yet I and everyone else continue their day once the brief mourning has passed. The memory of that person is always etched into my subconscious. Moreover, I have grown to realize that any person I meet or pass by can live their last breath after I see them, or vice versa. We are all connected in a vast pool of consciousness, unfortunately my mind like presumably yours,  is so distracted that it does not comprehend the presence of another until it is fully forced into the moment of now. 

Imagine the awesome strength of shifting a gaze and acknowledging the essence of another being as we rush about our day halter and skelter. 

We believe we are separate and individual, yet the simple gratitude of our lives is not enough  to accept the idea that we are not separate and moreover part of a cohesive mass of collective consciousness. It is easy to reconnect once inebriated with love. As the  awakening of the spirit occurs it is not just the acceptance of another that materializes, but the tolerance and the acknowledgment of myself becomes paramount. And so I recognize the nature of others as part of the oneness of all. In doing so I now can mourn the loss of any departed soul more fully and can bid them farewell on their journey regardless of the circumstances of their death. A more fitting adieu of a fellow being through memory and a heart felt acknowledgment that they even existed is sometimes all any of us need in life and not just in the years after death. 

Humbly stay present and silently note people and nature around you. I try not to be so in my head that I fail to account for my surroundings. With each recognition of another you also are acknowledged and validated. This is just as much an exercise for yourself than simply being on a vigil of all around you. This is not a mission of political handshaking to every stranger on the road to support your cause, but more an opportunity to connect with another soul in physical form. 

Time is limited, don't be that last one standing or the forgotten . 

A tale of a coffee bean

A tale of a coffee bean

Long have I held the notion that the relationship of coffee beans and water in that the latter transforms the former. In all my time of studying the bean and trying to become a barista I have never had such an ephony so stunning as now. Well firstly a little  misnomer. The bean is in fact a fruit, but that is another story. With the quick grinding and the keen proportion of fuming water, the bean is transformed into an aromatic concoction of culinary delight with  the possibility of  innumerable flavors. A tastebud's  dream holiday come true with every sip is every coffee drinkers goal. 

Yet what if the entire notion was wrong and in fact reversed. It is not the water that transforms the coffee bean. It is the bean that transforms the water into the coffee. The magic of the bean infuses and alchemizes the water into another liquid altogether. Only once in human history has a feat such as this been performed that was by one divine person who transformed water into wine. The bean has its own claim to fame and glory as it transforms water into a explosive coffee beverage every day every 90seconds all over the world. 

This has taught me something very profound. A hard bean is able to perform such an amazing task with no want of anything in return. An unconditional one way metamorphosis is rarely seen in nature. Now try to convert the hardest and toughest of personalities  with the single act of love into a magnificent being filled with the flavors of generosity, compassion, decency, humility and integrity. Yes it may be by breaking the hard shell of the bean or person to their very core with the heat of an external stimuli such as the water or life's events in the case of a person. However, the unconditional love is the catalyst of any reaction to begin any process. You and I are fully able to transform from the negative, bitter and hatred filled traits that we may still harbor as humans with a single act of unconditional love. 

Infuse yourself wholeheartedly into the world with unconditional love and find yourself more part of a delightful and grateful planet eager to explore a bright future. You are the best expresso that money cannot even buy, as you bring joy into the world with your attitude and gratitude. 

You are the most delicious way to start and end any day.

Thanks and giving day

Thanks and Giving Day

A memorable day of thanks given for a historic day of kindness and extraordinary unity as a people of one nation welcomed the troubled citizens of another, with an act of peace. Helping a fellow being in unconditional service is as close to touching the divinity within, worth celebrating with pomp and solace as we share a meal on a holiday with family and friends. Homage paid to a single act centuries ago etched in unbroken memory on the pages of past records. 

Yet I simply stop and wonder about the gratitude I must also unconditionally offer to the love of my heart as it stares me in the mirror day after day with passionate kindness and never asking for anything  more, except the innate though forgotten rite to be accepted. My mind and body  having taken a life of their own in a world of fast paced oscillation of order and chaos, have ignored what  they have always been searching for to complete their trifecta. 

The heart space. 

The love of the heart that bares no ill will when enabled to shine its brightest when the chains of ignorance, fears and hatred have been broken. When allowed to be heard, the shroud of misery is tossed aside, and the roar is deafening. The love that connects each of us through our words, actions and deeds such as that historic moment, is lived every day of every second in the feeling behind the thought to assist. Yet one cannot provide assistance to anyone  if the acknowledgment of the Self has not been first made. 

A single feeling, a single thought, a single action ignites the reaction of   a thousand suns all sparked from a space of love. A big bang reaction if you will that originates from a singular point in time and space. 

You. 

It is You that makes that difference.

A gratitude spell that sparks the love of You waiting with bated breath holds the key to untold miracles and magic of epic proportion and soulful ascension. A giving of thanks is not just of an ancient event in history, but more humble gratitude   of the  heart space of the people who sparked such a com-memorable   event. It is that same heart space that has transcended all of human history. It is the same heart space that began human history. It is the same heart space that the future will call "You, Me, Us."

Take a look in the mirror today and take a long or brief moment for the love that is You......it has waited your whole life for this event. Afterwards, the mystery unfolds.

Happy Thanks Giving. 

Can't afford to live

Can't afford to live.

My day started as it always does with the bustling of patients in the busy office practice. With each person a different set of issues that need to be addressed and in that time as much  healing  as possible to be processed. Then along comes a client who stomps you dead in your tracks with their complaint that you cannot hope to deliver a satisfactory outcome and you question your role as  physician in the cogwheel of health care. 

He had had numerous heart attacks and for the litany of ailments he was forced to take numerous medications. He looks at me with the weight of the world bowing his small shoulders, and sunken eyes recessed with little sleep. Haggard and disheveled he attempts a smile as I walk in the room. I ask him how is he doing and how can I help him? His response has haunted me yet. "Doc it is too expensive to live." I curiously inquired to clarify his statement. He replies dejected " I can't afford to live." 

My heart sank with these replies to a low I had not experienced till then. Tears rolled down both our eyes as we understood the nature of his predicament of the costs of medications, insurances, living costs and so on and so forth. With rising costs of everything, and with ailing health, he was broken. His very core was damaged almost irreparably. Almost. We dried our tears and discussed his financial, and health situation. He was more concerned about the money to pay  for the fuel to his aging car to even come to the appointment. He vented about the disparity of incomes and the dwindling job market. At times such as this, there is only space for healing by being silent and listening. The best medication was too costly for him, yet the cheapest therapy was the act of holding space for his grief to metabolize  and unfold into whatever form it was to undertake. The pause to listen to the barrage of the speaker is in itself the very act of spontaneous healing that many crave for, and  not just from their health care professionals yet also from a friend or spouse. 

I have no great solution to solve his finances as I struggle with my own. I have no greater ideas for his health care other than the  brilliant plans I had already set into motion for him, as I struggle with my own. I had only to offer my silence, as I struggle with my own need for silence to allow my heart and mind to not out pace each other, awaiting to be heard. When the conversation was then offered back to me for suggestions we uncovered some possibilities for him to seek out local resources for shelter, and for food and improving his employment opportunities. I offered to help him with some costs of medications, yet he was too embarrassed to  take money from me, as he stayed in gratitude that we had the chance to talk. That was it. Talk. I completed my doctoring duties of the examination and we bid each other farewell. As he walked out I quietly slipped into his jacket pocket enough cash to fuel his car and getting his prescriptions filled. 

It is not for doctoring that I see patients. It is for healing. It is not for advice that a friend unloads their problems to you. It is for healing. It is not for pity that a spouse unloads their days events at your feet. It is for healing. Healing begins with listening. It is that easy. Yet the hardest thing we can do, is to pause from our own unhealed wounds to allow someone else to heal. Yet in doing so what I have now come to realize that I heal myself expeditiously by unconditionally offering the listening that in turn is the healing for both involved. 

Listen and heal, heal and listen. 2 way street.  

Side of the coin

The side of the coin.

There is much going on in the world that leads our minds and thoughts, and in most cases our actions. Some of the happenings  we agree with, and at other times we abhor it. There are many issues that become problems that we cannot solve, and some that are solvable. Such is the nature of life when we step out of our world and explore the rest of the planet. Our tv remote controls  and scrolling mobile devices constantly keep us at the end of a tight leash of impulse action and reaction. 

When I identify that I am part of the problem then I really identify that I am also part of the horror that lies within the world. When I identify that I am part of the solution I begin to take on responsibility. Both identities  are 2 sides of the same coin, yet opposite and so bringing about opposite directions of action. Lineages of biases can effect my decisions ranging from familial to peer related opinions. Yet none are necessarily even my own. True identity does not come from the judgement of others about oneself no matter who is rendering that opinion, unless it is yours and yours alone. 

That is when the aspect of love steps up into the play and can abolish the egoic drama that is in an unending loop. When we offer any decision or idea through the lens of love, we are able to view things very differently. And in doing so we may find a solution to the issue at hand. This is called taking responsibility. When we hold ourselves as accountable  then the natural course is responsibility. This is how change is brought about. Yet the first step is the courage to even open one's heart let alone the mind to the issue at hand. 

To act or not to act is a constant battle. Which avenue s right or wrong? In most incidences it is a case of what is more right or more wrong and so the toss of the coin becomes irrelevant. If love is the driving force in every toss then the bias is always in the favor of a positive outcome when we choose to act from a space of love. Life is not black or white, yet it is a fertile ground of learning and understanding of one's identity and purpose.  

Which side of the coin are you on? Does not matter if the hand that tosses it is in a state of love.

Halloween

Halloween

Halloween cometh. All Hallows Eve. 

A great festival of pomp and celebration enjoyed by many in different cultures over a three day period  of October 31 through Nov 2 known as Allhallowstide. Dating back to antiquity the dead are remembered as they struggle to make their way to the heavenly realms. The significance is forgotten and lost amongst the commercialization of costumes, candy and treats and decorations of ghastly fake monsters to portray the scariness of the season when in fact it is a far gentler festival to be enjoyed and rejoiced with love and affection. 

There are many traditions that are uniquely particular to Halloween yet are replaced with the rituals of pumpkin carving, trick and treats and the dawning of costumes. The fear of halloween has been portrayed in movies and television depicting that the "evil " is out to get us. And in return so many of us wear masks to either scare off the ghouls or at least not let the nasties see our face and so move on. Yet the purer we are within, we innately are able to see past the masks and look into the hearts of others. The ancient idea that on this one night the veil of the good and evil is so thin that evil can cross over and walk amongst us is some what obsurd. The sense of evil is what lies within and is acted out by us when we succumb to our darker nature on our human spectrum and it is not something lurking behind tree trunks on the sides of every road. 

Yet the spirit of Halloween is a time of reverend remembrance to the ancestors of old who have passed and wishing them success on their journeys. With love, respect and ancient rites and  offerings they may pass to the other side comfortably. Or so we are told. The magic of the Halloween is the same as the magic of Christmas. It is in the believing in something bigger than who we are as individuals and recognizing the existance of our future as spiritual beings just as those who came before us.  

Wishing you a happy haunting from the other side. 

A haunting of love.

#metoo

#metoo

I am compelled to acknowledge these 5 letters not as a symbol representing that I was abused. I was not. Far from it. Yet being a man I must pay homage to the suffering of  the fellow co-inhabitants of the species. It would not seem complete if the other side of the coin not understand its counterpart, as then how can a coin ever be whole. It is an unfortunate tragedy that we as men have cultivated the culture that women are inferior or the "weaker" sex and so treated them unfairly and abused them and now to our own peril. These 5 letters represent transparency. Will these letters wash way generational abuse, or the hate that women have been subjugated to and demeaned and degraded for our own lustful pleasures through physical or sexual abuse? Hardly.

The victim here  is not just the girls or women,  yet it is also the perpetrators. The men who abuse are also victims. How you may ask? Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Hurt another, then you tear and injure your own soul. Just because we didn't see the "punishments of abusers" in the past does not mean to say that it never was juried out by damaging the male psyche. And hence over time the  generational consequences have weakened mens' true nature and abilities yet strengthened women to regain equality. The balance of nature must always be restored. With the transparency this will come to pass. 

#metoo is not a platform to go " guy bashing." It is an elevated state of awareness and consciousness to the systemic problem of humanity. Yet without abuse or hate how can one learn about innocence and love? With out good how do you define bad? Opposites exist in nature to be experienced and so known. I hope to  and will work always with the idea that we will learn only by experiencing. And in this way having experienced the nature of this systemic generational blasphemy we may begin to unfold the healing and understanding of love and respect, not just for each other yet moreover for ourselves.

Respecting another cannot begin without respecting oneself. Such is the tragedy of an abuser. With venomous words, thoughtless actions, a stern look, a deceitful deed is committed to another person yet fragments our own psyche irreparably. Do we not care enough about ourselves to avoid this consequence? So i ask my fellow man. Brothers, fathers, sons alike to begin the healing of a world with your own healing. Girls and Women are not dolls of pleasure to be discarded, nor are they conquests to be remembered by notches in a belt. They are the sisters, mothers and daughters of a planet long since begging for the balance of harmony to be reassembled. 

Let's try a little experiment of fun in a bad way. I wonder if this #metoo can be colored on a global social media map of the world. Pick a color. I choose red. Lets expand the #metoo to include a more truer comprehensive definition of abuse to include verbal, mental, emotional abuse and trauma and not just physical or sexual abuse. Imagine how this would look on this map. Now lets expand this to children ( male or female) abuse. Let's call it  #kidstoo. Let's pick a color. I pick yellow. Taking it a step farther. #canestoo. This will be the category of the elderly who have been neglected, abused, beaten and treated unfairly. ( This happens a lot more around the world than we care to consider). Lets pick blue. Can you picture what this rainbow of red, yellow and blue will look like across the globe? Any place not effected? Is there any home that has not been touched by abuse? NO. 

Again, respect for gender, age or size of person begins with respecting oneself. Acknowledging the darkest nature of our humanity only serves to liberate us enough to embrace the lighter side of our divinity. Experience, and know. The emotional inheritance of hate, anger and abuse has been experienced and known. Time to understand its opposite and let it go. It is time to acknowledge new words of love and respect and foster these in every relationship regardless of it being with a different gender, same gender, a child or an elder. 

Our basic design was never  to over power the other member of the species. Men over women or women over men. One creates, the other implements. The yin and yang of divinity was made stronger by keeping the bond strong. It was always a simple design of mutual respect, love, equality to afford the ascension of humanity. Fear,shame, blame and guilt have upset this accord. So the next time we decide to verbally abuse another being, or strike them down sexually, or physically, pause but a second and recognize the fear, or hate or anger that generated the thought of perpetration. Sown deep within those thoughts are the seeds of ancestral fears and are more than likely not yours. Easy to do? Not at all. But necessary.  Bigotry and hippocracy  all begin somewhere. Conditioned responses can be broken.  It has been done. Time to rinse and repeat.

An ancient heritage of love awaits our reclaiming. Are you brave enough to reclaim yours?

Meeting deaf ears

Meeting deaf ears

I came upon a very heart warming story. Thought I would share it with you. 

There was once this young deaf man who had just moved into a new small town. The only person he knew was his long time college friend who was fluent in sign language and so could help him communicate with his surroundings at  this new relocation. 

He walks down the street with her and enters a bakery. His friend informs the baker that they need a loaf of bread, and upon paying, the owner turns to this man and signs back " thank you have a nice day"! He immediately was surprised and pleased and replied back the same in sign language, and exited the store. 

They carried on down the street, and a passerby traveling in the opposite direction makes eye contact with this young man and signs " good morning hello". Again he smiles and signs back the same and  is a little astonished. 

They continued their morning walk and he wanted to buy her flowers so they stopped into a florist store and picked out the flowers and went up to the cashier. As he was leaving the cashier signed " those are beautiful flowers, hope you enjoy them". He replied in sign " Thank you and good bye"  

He asked his friend " Did you see that? How did that person and the last few people know how to communicate in sign language ?"

She shrugged, and smiled and they returned on their journey. 

A lady up ahead had dropped her keys and he picked them up and ran over to her to give it her. She was grateful and then signed back " Thank you for your help. " He was totally beside himself and bewildered that surely as a foreigner to this new town with a " handicap"  how are there  beyond a coincidence a number of people who could use sign language. Again he asked his friend, who shrugged and smiled. 

They reached the bus stop where he and his friend got onto the bus and suddenly the  bus driver greeted him in sign language and communicated to him the fare and destinations. He was astonished and teary eyed. He paid the fare and sat down confused. Suddenly from behind his seat an older man put his hand on his shoulder. He jumped with a start. The old man smiled and signed him " Welcome" He was now totally shaking with bewildered happiness. 

Another person on the bus also turned and signed to him " Dont worry"

He looked over to his friend in shock and fear. That is when she grinned and signed to him." I told the town a few days ago that you were coming and were deaf and could only sign and so each and every member of this town thought the best way to make you feel at home and welcome you, was to have everyone learn basic sign language as fast they could in a short period of time before your arrival. "

So here it is folks. You make a difference in peoples' lives by making a change in your own first. You reach out with love across any barrier of race, color, gender, creed, religion, equality, age, disability, or any possible difference. The offering of a single smile to a stranger you meet on the street, changes the path they were on. You do not know if that stranger was having a bad day but that your simple acknowledgment of their humanity perhaps changed their course. 

Reach out. Extend yourself. Lend out your heart. If you never do, you will never know if you are capable of more than you have ever dreamed. 

And I know you are. I have seen it. I have felt it. In your eyes. In your hearts. 

Welcome to the planet. It's not all that bad as you have been told. 

Magic is everywhere. 

a bloody story

A bloody story

So the other day an incident occurred. The morals of it were far reaching. I will share.

My 6 y old kitchen savvy and chef wanna be son decided to chop cantaloupe. Something that he has done many times yet accidents happen and in an instant  sliced his finger. Numerous gauzes were used with copious amounts of ice. Yet after almost and hour and a half of pumping bright red blood that never ceased we finally took him to the local Urgent care center. It was still pumping away and during the registration process the medical staff entertained him with their kindness and compassion. Immediately his bleeding in front of my eyes stopped. Now one might say that all bleeding stops eventually, but this was something spectacular. The medical staff also remarked how quickly it ceased and literally before our eyes the wound closed and healing was well under way. What was the catalyst? He was calmer. 

Once engaged within the more peaceful and jovial environment of others he quickly calmed down and allowed his body to do what it innately knows. Heal thyself. 

This is an important observation as it can apply to copious examples in our lives where the stresses and tensions catapult our minds and bodies into different directions and the lack of synchronization aides us even less. Imagine for a moment the link between our outward environment that can turn hostile at home, work or even family life whereby we are immediately put into a state of flight or fight and our internal arena. Whether we are  fighting off diseases within and unsuspectingly receive the common cold or flu or are forced to deal with life circumstances of  difficult finances or protracted hardships that change our physiology to a hyper state. The effects on our organs and bloodstream are extreme as  are the effects to  our heart and mind dramatic play. 

Our internal environment is linked to our external surroundings via our sense bodies and regulated by our mind and brain yet governed by our heart through feelings. It is here where we have the opportunity to over rule the chaos of the minds' fears and anxieties and return all parts of our selves to a peaceful and well balanced center. In the end it is the identity of the Self  that we sometimes forget to recognize that is the ultimate driver of the vehicle that is our fragile body. 

Moral of the story. Watch out for sharp knives by being fully present in the moment and when things go awry the same presence of heart and mind will bring about miraculous results in our lives and to all around us that we interact with in our world. There are emergencies and then there are emergencies. Knowing which to one to react to and how to react to them is a conditioned response by filtering the emotions through the heart. 

The path

The path.

We arrive not a moment too soon, or a moment too late yet just at the right time to a path in front of us that may be devoid of clarity. It is covered with the dust of doubt, and littered with the stones of burdensome concerns. It may not be fully lit with the ideas of purpose. Yet the path is there for the discovery. When the clock strikes the appointed hour we awaken with the need to sweep away doubt. We have the urge to pave those concerns and ignite the candle of self compassion and light our way. 

The path may feel cold and distant yet all it requires is the first step to begin the journey. It has been said that any journey of a 1000 steps begins with the first. This journey requires the first step to be initiated by letting go of a 1000 fears. A seemingly daunting task yet undertaken easily with gratitude and love. 

Embracing all that is contradictory, and engaging all that feels vulnerable and  brooming away all the resentments of self is the invitation that this path holds out for you. In doing so the aliveness of your heart lights this road to a new destination. The unknown is pregnant with possibility as you move on this path.   

The fog of illusion that envelopes our path  is easily dispelled with hope and resolution of a magic that has yet to be performed. 

Love is the path. Love is the path of infinite possibilities. Love is the only thing we have to remember to begin our adventure. 

an emotional photographic tale

An emotional photographic tale

I recently glanced at a picture that was taken. I would love to meet the photographer one day and ask what they felt and what they did after the truth was told. It was a simple black and white picture of a mother, clothed in poverty standing at a relatively modern looking subway station in front of a stopped train holding a sleeping child. It was quite touching and my heart felt saddened and soft for this heart felt picture. A poor woman having to carry her very small child because perhaps she could not afford the luxuries of modern transport and so had to go by foot. 

This was not the story. Underneath I read the investigative report. She was a poor woman indeed. Yet the child she was carrying was dead. She has been the victim of gang rape a few hours earlier and her child was murdered in the process. She had covered up her child with dignity yet had no way to return home so was in midst of traveling back to her village. The shame of rape only heightened by the loss of her child and the holding back of her tears for the sake of embarrassment or perhaps preserving the modicum of strength left in her to simply take her and her deceased child home. 

What did this evoke in me? Initially solemn sadness of a tale of poverty coupled with the tenderness of a mother and child. A picture says a 1000words, but it does not paint the entire story. I was emotionally turned to a gut wrenching nausea and anger with the apparent violation and immediate anger and the need for justice against the perpetrators. It has taken me a long time to wrestle with this turbulence of emotional unrest. Yet these sort of atrocities happen daily through out the world yet is rarely publicized. 

There is no easy soft way to go through emotional suffering. It must pass like waves of sea sickness. In the end my anger rested on the shores of understanding of the love of a mother and child and not in the fiery hatred of the violators of crimes. What was done, was done and the past cannot be undone. The queasiness will never go away, nor should it. The message is that human emotion in all its spectrums must be experienced and therefore known and it is in the unfolding we become who we were always meant to be, spiritual beings having a limited human experience.  

Physics

Physics

A field of instant boredom or immediate excitement. For me it started off in school as a very difficult subject matter to understand and grasping the concepts were more than arduous, they were frustrating. Yet I plugged away. Later in life, it all seemed to click and make sense and then ended up taking quantum physics and quantum chemistry which became mind numbingly fun. 

There is the physics of the seen. This is Newtonian. We can touch, observe and  manipulate the experiments of nature. Then there is the physics of the unseen. This is more Einstein derived. Quantum universes within quantum cells, understanding the universal whole down to its building blocks and trying to bridge the two. Cerebral to say the least and only until recently experimentally validated. Then there is the physics of the soul as it pertains to feeling. This places us right into the heart of the universe and we become integrally connected into and everything that is universal, whether seen or  unseen. Time and dimensions become illusionary in the face of all that is manifest or unmanifest, whether absolute or relative when you deal with the physics of the Self. 

My experimental tool is my heart and not my mind. The resonance of feeling unlocks the energetic vibrational frequencies within all and the Self. It can then manifest the reality of choice of mind or spirit. My spirit is both the  observer and the experimenter of all realities in every timeline in every universe occurring simultaneously. And so both my outcome research data and evidence is created instantly as long as I tap into my research  companion. 

Everything infinitely small and infinitely big is connected and so the sphere of size is irrelevant. The interaction of all forces seen and unseen flows through and within the heart space. The energy of love is the only constant highest vibrational energies throughout the cosmos. For not the universal love of existence, nothing would exist. That is where the universal heart not mind of intention plays role. And so becomes the greatest tool of creation. Looking for more "evidence" look closely in the mirror at every feature, pore, strand on your physical and how it works and then look into your eyes and see perhaps for the first time the unseen version of you, the researcher. Find the love in your heart to connect to this aspect of You and manifest an unparalleled future. 

I love my researcher and all the tools that he employs. Publications of his findings are abound.... in every interaction with YOU !! 

Body transformations

Body transformations

Yet another magazine I throw away in the garbage that has innumerable pictures of amazing ( probably photoshopped) models with great bodies. Thin, slim, sculpted, perfect. We all go through these phases in our lives where we take our being healthy, fit, and feeling alive to the next obsessive level. It is perfectly fine to target and reach that height if you are into sports, or exercising, competitive and striving for a personal bench mark. Yet if it is to look like someone else because it is popular then I would disagree on those goal ideas. 

Few things to remember. At a certain age after having children and trying to turn back the clock to look like a 21 year old because you want to be liked is a bizarre   concept, yet I see it all the time. The desire to change with healthy doses of exercise and better eating habits is one thing, but then to jump into surgical options for the sake of vanity may not always be called for. Those stretch marks that you may want gone are reminders of your 9 month long arduous pregnancy and the delivery of your child. Your bags under your eyes are reminders of those sleepless nights you spent with your child, or the hard work you went through doing two jobs or late shifts. The callouses on your hands are reminders of the laborious tasks you performed with your hands for work, or a special endeavor like toiling in the fields or your flower or vegetable garden. The aches of your feet recollect the long distances you may have walked for years to the nearest bus station to go to school or seek work . 

So the next time I decide to simply BE like that person in the glamorous eye-catching magazine taunting me from the newsstand,   I will force to remind myself that my body with all its socially estabilished imperfections is the complete record book of all my life's experiences and memories. My body has been with me since the time I came into this world, and remains with me till I decide to leave. We have gone through innumerable trials and tribulations and it has been revered and abused, yet the vehicle of my soul continues to serve. Be proud of who you are and who you have become. If you want to perform modifications go right  ahead, but do it for you and not anyone else or for any life situation you are trying to escape from.

You are simply perfect the way you are. 

I am me. And loving it. 

how much is enough compassion?

How much is enough compassion?

I am often plagued with the notion of do I have enough compassion? Not do I have compassion. I do, but do I have enough for another human being. After all I am just a simple human how can my bucket of compassion be infinitely deep. Yet what say we toy with the idea that it can be infinitely deep.... how do we get it there? Understanding the nature of compassion is key. 

Compassion is the profound understanding for another person. It stems from a vastness of our hearts that holds tremendous respect. Yet in this form it is respect for oneself. It is the compassion of myself, completely and totally that will enable the eventual offering of love of myself to the love of another. It is the connection that we seek when we offer our holding of space in the cosmic moment of now as we commune with another living soul. 

Acknowledging our own pain, and healing that to whatever extent brings forth the energy of love. When this new entity has been  filled up to the brim of our hearts and runs over, we offer it to another who we recognize who is in similar emotional pain. It does not have to be the same scenario that brings about the pain, as pain is the end result of whatever  devastating situation has arisen. This love makes its way out to the other when the respect, the understanding of ourselves enables a bridge to be created to another's heart. 

As we surrender a fragment of our love to another, so too does the universe do the same towards our own hearts from its heart center with the same conscious understanding of its vast infinite self. Ergo this translates to an infinite amount of compassion. And so lies the mathematical logic of the limited mind asking to balance an infinite question. Compassion is infinite, and limitless, as it stems from the human heart that has the capacity for the same. Connecting to your Self, that aspect of you that is connected to the universe, leads to your bucket never being empty. 

Respect, understanding, love for you is synonymous with compassion towards  others.  

full moon woes

Full moon woes

Heads up folks powerfully intense full moon showing up july 9. This particular moon has the potential to create all kinds of serious relationship issues. The polarities are fierce and manifests as ego vs emotion and inner tensions vs external pressures. There is a lot of chance at disharmony with personal conflict and draining of energy. I too fell unsuspectingly victim to some of the effects yet quickly turned things around. 

The purpose of this particular intensity is appropriate. It provides the emotional strength to retune what was unveiled in the last new moon. When you develop subconscious awareness it will allow for the balanced objectivity. We all may experience some level of trouble focussing. Goals need the drive to manifest, hence the last new moon for goal creation  and this full moon to set things in motion. 

Relationships with friends and family can become quite heated and intense suffering from impulsivity  and aggressive actions. Channeling this untamed energy in grounding and exercise will help tremendously. Be mindful of your temper and quick triggered reactions. We essentially turn  into out of control pressure cookers.

Recoding and restructuring and recalibrating of the geometrics and fundamental sequences are constantly happening yet it is these bursts of vibrational frequency adjustments that radically shift our very being to the next level. Sometimes change is thrust upon you when you least expect it or desire it. Obsessed feelings can become the target of arguments and fights. 

Here are some helpful tips to handle this moon.

1) do not react to every interaction no matter how intense. A quick pause and breath will reset you

2) Feel the ground.

3) lay your hands on your heart and feel the beat

4) Breathe deeply from your lower belly

5) Listen and talk less

These moon effects will pass as quickly as they arrived. It is in the feeling of unsteadiness where you will find your path and know that you are on the right track. 

Patience. Flow. Allow. Love. 

The illusion

The illusion

It is in the illusion that I cannot be healed lies my greatest fallacy. The chasms of my pain have been traversed and have been mapped out. The repressed feelings over many life times are like  hidden treasures that are discovered and catabolized  into nuggets of grace. Emotional pain has been ostracized by society and those who are sensitive or highly empathic are rewarded to shut the doors of their hearts and deal with their grief, heart break and vulnerabilities in their own way. By being silent. 

That has changed. No more are the angry cries of freedom unheard and nor are the raw gifts of solitary confusion accepted. This is a time of great upheaval for the resonance of the soul. A time for the inner voices to sing their unsung songs of purpose and purity.  When you draw the curtain you uncover only darkness. It is in this dark of dark that you and I have laid our heads to a hardened ground and cried our hearts out for help. The assistance arrives with great expedience as we take the first step to bring about a change. It is in the unveiling of the curtains of despair that clear directions are carved out in our minds. 

When the orphans of the heart such as compassion, understanding, patience and tolerance, have been accepted and integrated only then can the healing begin. The illusion is disspelled and the true magic of an unfolding heart is revealed in all its glory. Bringing in love to the light the candle of the cob webbed mind is the first step. The allowing it to breathe and grow is the second step. 

There is a sequence to these orphans as they unlock the heavy doors of apathy, but to each person the sequence is  unique. The choice of the first step requires a stance. A position that will break the inertia by letting go of unwarranted fears and dissolutioned ideas, but it all starts with you making that choice.

The illusion is simply a well orchestrated parlor trick of the mind to keep the true magic of the heart disguised. Open your eyes and your hearts and the truth is revealed. 

Show me the money

Show me the money

For years money has always been a deciding factor and drive in the things I do, things I buy, and the choices I make. This is probably what the vast majority of people on our planet use to meet their physical needs. When things feel unsettled I gravitate towards them for a deeper understanding as to why. What lesson does it hold for me. Money came up. I was reminded of a very old memory growing up seeing how the barter system works in other countries. When it comes to buying fruits, vegetables and minor commodities street handlers run the show and i recall the typical scene of haggling. An ancient tradition rooted in humanity of haggling for a better price. But the part that bothered me is the negotiation and the immediate dismissal of a poorer person after taking the goods and giving them in return less than the asking price and walking away. Some of you may be thinking " are you crazy you can't do that" True but it happens every day of every moment in every part of the world and if you are not familiar with this experience it is perhaps because you do not negotiate with the larger companies that provide your goods. On that same point I would not think twice about trying to negotiate the price of a sack of potatoes at the grocery store or the cost of a shoe at the department store yet will spend considerable time arguing with a lesser individual one on one. Is it the human one to one connection that enables this versus the corporate store that bears a sterile outlook? Maybe, but then a direct connection means I should negotiate better for both of us and not just one person. Maybe its me, but this topic has brought me terrible heart break. 

The balance of power through out the world has been  made unequal with a destabilizing   of status with currency. Money has kept people and families poles apart. I do not hate money. I am shifted to understand that the future to realign a planet and its people will have to come from a removal of that that has kept them apart. Idealistically every one helps the other person become better. Everyone gets the care, respect and the human desires that they need by someone else as they integrate to help the collective. Communism? Hardly. A dirty word fueled by wars and singular angry governments and individuals that turned the simple notion of "help your fellow man " ( mind you a concept that has originated long before communism and settled in religion and other ancient beliefs) into " heck with your fellow man."

The needs will be met by all and for all. Simple right? Yet we have outgrown our needs to the over expression of our mind ego that has resulted in greed, arrogance and the unending and never fulfilling desire for stuff. That may require toning down. Such ideology is already in full successful  swing in many countries where everyone "pulls" their weight and helps in development of the nation and the planet. Again this is not communism which is shrinking and not expanding in its old form around the globe.

Foolish idea? no money? If your value is as important as the next person there lies no reason for money. If you get what you need without a want and continue to pay it forward with your deeds, I see this as a win. The key here is seeing your value as equal to another. I find my self no greater part of the hospital as a physician as the hospital cleaning persons who I greet by first name daily. If my ego is lowered, I find my heart expanded higher to aide and love. 

By the way, if you think that a non monetary system is not going to be reality then think again. The destabilization of the world economies is not coincidence and neither is the continued chaos. Change is coming. Not tomorrow but soon. Decades, but in cosmic terms it is a blink of an eye. We are one world and one collective species. There will be no demarcations of sex, age, color, religion, poverty etc. There is only one color and that is the frequency of unconditional love.

I choose to live in that world of utopia, and strive to make it that by changing me every day with that energy of love. Join me, the future is so much brighter than your present world.     

The froth

The froth

The news, the sensational media, the political and financial climates around the world has all fueled an uproar of emotions that has created all sorts of unrest in the hearts and minds of the citizens of the globe. The churning continues as the world continues to appear to be falling into a chaotic chasm of death, destruction, and despair. I see it differently.

I love coffee and fabricating caffeinated beverage creations. I take the hot milk and then I can either use a steam wand or a fast bladed spinner and make the heated milk foam as latte, machiatto or a cappuccino and I enjoy watching the foam separate out from the other parts of the milk that fall behind. It is this very idea that is occurring on a massive unconscious level to the collective consciousness of our planet. We are spinning, churning so rapidly it gives the appearance of total chaos, yet like the spinning milk of our unconscious, anew product emerges. The froth of our enlightened conscious mind. Separation  of the mind and heart from old fears, past ideals and rote based traditions is occurring and will continue to do so until the new lighter, kinder gentler and higher frequency part of our nature and divinity emerge. Purer, cleaner and in fact tastier consciousness is the end result. Patience, and  a steady hand will bring about a more fruitful froth, not just in appearance but in texture and flavor. So too the separation is paramount to bring forth the froth ! 

Give not care for the spinning of the chaos that is the illusion of the world but more the actions of your careful hand as it enables the future to form from a space of love. The steadier your hand in contributing to the future with dedication, compassion and self awareness, the better will the froth of your and the collective consciousness emerge. If you are shaky during the separation of the milk or your mind and heart then the concoction you are attempting to make will falter and fail as will the collective. 

Bring forth your light and love and make a future visioned world as beautiful as the finest beverage you can create. 

Mirroring

Mirroring

I travel in a world of mirrors. All that I see is a reflection of aspects of me. If you look carefully you will see this too. What you see is not an aspect of another, yet an aspect of yourself. It is when you choose to engage it, you begin to own that part of you and can work on it.

When you feel love for someone you are feeling that which you need to expand on in yourself, in other words more love. When you feel unhappy with someone you are not really unhappy with that person, it is the unhappiness within you that is resonating. When you are angry at a situation that has occurred it is the   frustration  within you about that situation that leads you to anger. The same concept applies to judgment. Jealousy, greed, ignorance to name a few are all aspects that are mirrored by others for us to see within ourselves. If you are jealous about someone's success it is the  irritability that you have not achieved your full potential that bothers you. When I see greed at a dinner table for example, it is the greed within myself that I too wanted more in excess of what I already had that knocks on my subconscious door. When we see  ignorance in others, it is our own incompleteness of knowledge that needles our fragile psyche. 

Yet when we see the beauty in others it is the non judgmental beauty of our own souls that we see in our ourselves. When I see the politeness or courteousness in another it is the same quality hidden with in me that resonates and is recalled. When you see the joy in others achieving their goals, you are reminded of the same feeling as you achieve yours, joy. 

What you resonate out in terms of a vibrational frequency that is seen by others and it is then mirrored back to you. " Birds of a feather flock together" or " misery loves company" are not in fact idle phrases spoken in passing conversation. They describe this phenomenon in every way. It is time to learn from every feeling that you get about someone else what it means to you. A quick pause before reacting helps you identify what is that emotional frequency and then ask yourself what does this moment have to teach me about me. 

Judgements give way to understanding, and reactions pave the way for compassion. It is time to tune yourself to your new bandwidth. 

What if you died and came back?

What if you died and came back?

Life is hectic, and I find my life launching every day at 200mph. It can be hard to focus as my mind tries desperately to tally all the countless stimuli that bombard me from moment to moment. The frustration really comes from my inability to control every thing that is happening. It is our nature to want to control our environments as it gives us a sense of place and the place a sense. It is in this incessant tug of war of control that I find myself, literally find my Self. Here is how. 

In the midst of the storm of hungry kids running in circles around me at arsenic hour or in the middle of the chaos in the hospital with only a hundred things that need to have been done an hour prior, or attempting to reach a deadline that is rapidly approaching and your entire project on the computer inexplicably vanishes , what do you do? Losing my temper is no longer an option. Giving up and throwing in the towel is not acceptable. So what gives. Where is the reset point in a world hurtling out of control towards a brick wall that refuses to move? 

Here is what I do. I take a deep breath in and imagine that I have died. The world and everything that  was going  on before, continues to go on. I simply observe what is happening and "see" it continue and I am just observing the entire situation from another plane, but physically not present. An amazing feeling manifests. It is a sense of calm, knowing that there are times that whatever you try to do it is not going to make a difference in the slightest and the world will persevere  without you." What the heck? Do I not mean anything to the world? " is what mind asks. In fact you matter the most to the world, but you need to be present in order to make a difference and have your presence known. As I observe the world rotating at just as fast a speed as it was without me in it, I am able to pause and become more focussed. 

In the more paused and collected state I am able to summon  a variable that can be reintroduced that will make a difference. The variable of love. In the resetting with the pause, love is a powerful catalyst to transform any moment. I now with another purposeful breath return back into the land of the living storm yet I am inherently NOT who I was a few seconds ago. I infuse love into the moment of return and find that my choices thereafter are more purposeful, on point and transformative. I can now exact the change that I chose to begin with. I can then stop the circling kids and feed them, get all the hospital work done in a prioritized and expedient fashion, or   even find the missing project that was accidentally simply misplaced behind another folder on the screen. The difference to change the world can now be made. The difference is that I died from my mind and was born from my heart.  

What difference can one person make to a world? Well to one person you can make a world of difference. And that person is You. 

Observe. Rejoin. Love. Create. Flow. 

Victims

Victims

Another voice is silenced in the night as weapons of destruction echo in the distance. Every minute of every day another voice is hushed and a light is snuffed out. There is always a natural order of birth and death and then at other times the balance is tipped and expedited by the impatience and ignorance of others.  

My heart goes out to the victims of these atrocities, the latest one in the UK. Musical joy is compounded by the drumming of exploding bombs and the cacophony of terror as yet another night was chalked up to a nightmare and horror for all concerned. I am equally heart felt to the families of the victims as they are the unfortunate byproduct of an unbalanced equation as they hold the denseness of the loss in their days to come. Much as we despise the perpetrators of hate crimes, there is still an important role for them to play as they first must violate all sense of humanity within, as they rip their once beautiful spirits into shreds when they usher into their criminal act. This heinous act springs forth from the very separation of themselves from a conscious collective. Their hatred for themselves  is so intense that it is a hatred for others that is then manifest. There lies yet another victim. The perpetrator is not to be hated, or pitied, yet sympathized. 

How can you say such a thing? Surely the criminal is to be hung by their boot straps for the hurt they have caused. Sympathy and compassion is not to be mistaken for leniency or pardon, but in fact it strives to serve justice in accordance with law more swiftly. Fires are not fought with fires, yet with water. Flow. Fires are extinguished never to return when overpowered with flowing water. So too is the case made for overpowering pure hate with pure love. For any who doubt this, it is because the judgement is coming from self hate and the mindsets and not from  unconditional love. When your vibrational frequency is at its highest, then there is no separation from you, me, and universal source. 

As we begin our shifts to a deeper understanding of ourselves and letting go of the idea of separateness we dissolve our prejudices, hate, anger, biases and clearly feel and see a better world. A world within that is then created on the outside. Naive? Hardly. It is our place, nay,  it is our divine responsibility to awaken each other to their true form, true purpose, once we awaken ourselves.  Impossible to retrain haters. Impossible to change someone's point of view. Impossible to stamp out the evil doers. I have been surrounded by these post-its of reminders. 

Answers are simple. Haters can be retrained. I don't have to change anyone's viewpoint, I change my own. Evil doers are stamped out as they are shown a better future, and the seeds of compassion sown so long ago in everyone's heart as a child is tended to grow into trees of love. How do you change the world? I have been plagued by this machevalient  question. Yet the answer remains again so simple. I change myself, and others will change. The key in all this is to transform each other and the world BEFORE the crime can be manifest. 

Love is infectious. That's a disease worth catching.