My my what a big stick you have

My My What a big stick you have?

 Have you ever noticed a person walking with a cane or a stick? They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. The mechanics are most interesting. They are designed and fashioned to act almost like a tripod or in most instances as a crutch or to be an assistance in ambulation. They take the stress off most of the weight or full weight while either sitting down or standing up or in between the ambulation steps. The purpose is to provide support for the injured  party during a period of weakness. So too is the nature of a helpful friend, a supportive spouse, a nurturing parent or caregiver. One must never forget the individual who has to put up with the stress. In many cases it can be you as the injured party needing support, or you can be the kind stick providing the stressful support. 

With each step a lot of force and pressure is wielded into the stick or cane. Overtime if appropriate care towards the stick is not given it may crack or break under the exorbitant pressures. Even these supportive devices need a break from time to time. Have you ever talked to your cane, or crutch and asked this helpful individual as to how they are doing. Perhaps they need to relieve some pressure and tell their side of the story. This aide has been with you at a significant period in your life when  you most needed them. Perhaps reuniting with them before the stress fracture occurs is just as important as connecting with them at the beginning of the journey. According to Newtonian physics and third law,  there is an equal force placed on the stick as is placed on the individual, namely the law of action and reaction. So if you understand this principle you realize that this happy coexistence, this equal measure of force,  will not hold up unless both sides are equally strong. 

Your supporting person is only as strong as they are allowed to become. Through caring that they show you, you get stronger. So too this can be reciprocated. Be it a friend, a spouse, a parent or a primary care provider, the relationship is that of a much needed supportive cane. Treating him or her with respect, attention  and love,  is as valuable as you treating yourself in the same manner. Hence this develops the much needed strength to fulfill Newton's third law, ensuring many more years of steadfastness of your supportive device.

How strong is your stick or cane on any given day?

Looking up at the stars

Looking up at the stars

The loud  noises of the car horns, the brightness from the city street lights,  the luminescent buildings and electric commercial  signs, combined with the fast pace of our lives leave much to be desired as  we keep our heads down towards the ground and get to our preconceived destinations. We sometimes even miss our fellow walkers as we bustle through our day neither  making connections nor connecting to our surroundings. Yet we are always looking up at the stars for guidance to our personal chaos. When we get the rare chance to be outside at night, and the light of man made origin turns off, we see a new sort of radiance of light emerge as we readjust our eyes to the night time. 

The stillness is deafening. The serenity can be disconcerting to an agitated and distracted mind. The radiance is that of the star light. Like pin holes in the heavens, the night sky shines brightly down with effulgence. It is unfortunate that we either miss this amazing sight due to the artificial light pollution or our eternal material distractions in life. So too is true when we turn off the outside light and look inward at the beauty of the light of our souls. We look to the heavens above for guidance, yet it is the soul within that is always in connection with this heavenly pathfinder. The infinite stars not only represent the light to guide our nights, but also the infinite possible directions that we can take with our lives. Shining bright through our creativity, our Self expression, our inner radiance guides our day and night lives. 

How do we tap into this light? In my opinion, first acknowledge that you are You, and accept yourself for who you are. Perfections and flaws alike, simply accept that who you were, who you are today and who you will become in the future. Once you do this, you are giving the true You a chance at recognition by allowing your ever ominous, looming and overbearing mind to bow gracefully in acknowledgment at something other than itself. This chance gives way to the spirit, your true nature to start voicing its opinion.  

Next comes facing the next hurdle which is your fears and doubts. By confronting them all head on with a warm embrace. Feel the light from the candle of your soul start to burn brighter, and brighter till it has engulfed your fears and shone the light to disperse all the darkness. No corner of the room of your mind's eye should be left without being illuminated. This almost is like a mind cleansing of your old thoughts, doubts, anxieties, worries and more over your own self critisizm. Once you have dealt with these "demons"you become lighter to float and be as airy as the luminesence that you are trying to reveal. 

Being free to touch the stars with the belief that anything is possible is the next stage of evolutionary mindfulness. Dispensing the notion of disbelief is accomplishable if you try in the physical to be present at night time outside and feel yourelf as part of the stars above. Why do we look to the stars for guidance when we know that our souls if unburdened by the chains of the mind, have the  power to connect to the creator and the universe in an instant. The infinite stars are like infinite destinations waiting to be explored. To borrow and paraphrase a quote that " as it is on earth, so it is in heaven" I would add that as the inner light shines within, so does it shine from above, as seen in the twinkling of the luminescent night sky.  

Standing outside, the more our eyes dilate in the night and we get accustomed to the darkness, the clearer we see the stars, and if you have ever focussed on these stars you see more of them and with progressive brightness. The "twinkle" is like the stars looking back at you and winking as if to say we see you, we  hear you and we are here to help. Similarly the more you clean up your mind to start experiencing the stillness, the clearer the mind's eye vision gets to start seeing the bright star of your shining true Self glow and take over your sky, your life, and your experiences. The clearer your mind, the clearer it can see your spirit and its  ever present and progressive radiance. A fun exercise that usually only children do and easily dismissed by the intelligent and more evolved adult is counting the stars as they come out every hour. It is interesting how many more stars a child can count than the adult, since not only is their mind more free of clutter but also free and innocent enough to enjoy the experience of the moment. How many stars can you count?

Look at all the stars out tonight, which one do you want to touch? The night is yours and so is the destination.

"I am"prejudice

" I am " prejudice

We are constantly bombarded by the media with the news reports of hate crimes. Bigotry, infidelity, nepotism and crimes against cultural, religious,gender or societal groups are so common these days that it does not even phase us for the most part. We see these reports, it may make us feel sick and angry briefly but then we quietly continue our daily mundane lives as if all these things do not effect us. We act as if this is all just happening on television and not really to any one  individual or group somewhere else in the world and sometimes even in the next street or town over. The world has become a much smaller place to live in, and with continued depletion of earth's resources, we really cannot afford prejudice against anyone or any group lest it continue to plague us with violence, war, hate, death and destruction. 

Where does this prejudice come from? Clearly we know that little children do not have such attributes when they are born and while their innocence lasts, peace reigns. So taking a page out of their book several questions arise. At what point does this change for them? Is it when they enter preschool, kindergarden, or further on  in their educational and life experiences? How can we extend out this range of peaceful coexistence that they have revealed to us for the entire length of their lives?

Some answers may stem from the all mighty " I am " that develops very early on in our lifetimes. We have to create this "I am" in order to form this sense of self and belonging. We try to do this so that we understand our place in the universe, our place on the earth as we then try to broaden our sense of purpose. We embed ourselves into this identity that the ego formulates and so cannot change, or can we? We will join into packs and groups and work cooperatively as little children in school but any threat to that fragile ego or the self, results us in shutting down and protecting the " I am"  at whatever the cost. We form groups with other like minded individuals who are unknowingly also fearful. Then to preserve the " I am " or the newly formed "we are", we systematically gravitate to a single ideal not based in fact but more in fiction led by an individual ( arguably the most frightened with the most to lose), and rally behind them. The only way to preserve an ego is to stomp out all other egos with the declaration of not just " I am or we are" but " I am right and you are wrong". Armed with this mantra we proceed to dismantle the existent religious, societal, or  cultural structure of  others in a desperate effort of self preservation. It is truly a desperate effort as it is really just an expression  of the self, but since no one is listening to each other, the shouting to be heard becomes the typical mob mentality that we are accustomed to seeing. 

We are hardened by these reports and choose not to accept them as reality, as in doing so, it may just hone in on the fact that such things do happen and that any one of us could be victims of the same prejudice. So we choose to ignore instead of inspire change. We choose to hide instead of hinder the progress of prejudice. The next generation and the subsequent ones are inheriting a world of hate. An earth with scarce resources is what is being left for their future. You can try to change peoples minds with ideals, but you cannot change their prejudices with out changing their hearts. You change the hearts by making people want to change their Selves. If something is important to you or you know it will affect you adversely, you are conditioned and genetically programmed to evolve and adapt. If you realize that there is no threat, there is no fear. If no fear, then you give love a chance to grow within your heart, guided by the aware Self, you then change your mind. Perhaps finding differences in gender, race, religion, creed, societal and cultural values then does not become priority, and the shift to more pressing needs like reducing the burden of negativity in the world, developing peaceful cooperation and re-nurturing dwindling resources takes precedent. 

The " I am" should not to be quenched as one might think, but more  allowed to bloom with out the menacing fear of self annihilation. Children are amazingly adaptable and malleable. The role models of their parents,friends and teachers that they follow must be of sound mind, spirit and consciousness if we have any hope to survive as a species. When you find only one type of flower in an otherwise diverse garden, you do not just pluck out the flower but instead you try to grow that species of flower and broaden its survival chances in numbers. You give it the nurturing love that all life needs to succeed and thrive. If we see ourselves only as " I am" the unfortunately "We" will despair. Almost a self defeating prophecy occurs while trying to preserve the Self, we destroy the self and others in the process. When we harm another in thought, word or act, we have already harmed our Selves. 

When you see prejudice, do not turn a blind eye or turn the other cheek. Fighting prejudice is everyones problem not someone else's problem somewhere else. The " I am " concept in my opinion should be expanded to further words such as 

" I am more.." 

" I am love"

 " I am help"

 " I am joy" 

" I am kind"

"I am goodness"

"I am not prejudicial'

What extension to your " I am......" will you add on today?

Holding on to the reins

Holding on to the reins

The  freedom on the backs of a running horse, galloping on an open terrain, with the wind blowing in your hair gives you an exhilarating feeling. Bonded to the animal, you roam happily as you hold on to the reins and guide the adventurous experience. Similarly we live our lives for the most part in freedom, joyfully skipping and galloping away at times. When things in life are not in our control and they go awry that is when our horse starts behaving erratically. We get perturbed and subsequently we tighten the reins and pull harder and harder. However exactly the opposite effect occurs. The tighter we pull, the more strangulation of the horse occurs. It does end up stopping the horse, but it does also stop us dead in our tracks in life. The more control we think we are trying to exude, the harder things actually get.

The purpose of using the reins is to guide  the horse directionally. So too we try to "control" the behaviors of others to bend to our will. This unfortunately backfires when the strings of control are too tightly bound or we are holding on too forcefully, that our life stalls as we literally choke the life out of our relationships with others. Easing up the reins, enables us to breathe life back into the relationships and the horse is able to continue its journey without fear of the rider, you. Being connected  with the horse is as important as the horse being able to trust you. Such is the nature in any relationship, be it parental, spousal or a friendship. You cannot exert so much force on another individual that the reins or ties that are meant to navigate the relationship, bring it to a choking stall. 

Let go of your need for control, and enjoy the "horsing" around and the riding experience. The native americans used to have a unique bond with the horses such that they would ride the wild horses with out the need  for ropes, harnesses or reins. The animal and the rider as one. Freedom to enjoy the company of each other and the journey that is undertaken galloping on the fields of life is a blessing and an achievable goal. It all depends on your willingness to pursue this goal. It depends on your willingness to let go of the reins. It depends on your willingness to accept yourself with confidence. Such that you are not only confident in your relationship be as a rider or with another being, that you do not need a hold on anyone. That comes from freeing yourself from your own reins, and your own ropes that you have tied upon yourself with fears and self doubts.

Are your reins too tight or are you going to run with a wild horse?

Hearing the foghorn

Hearing the foghorn

It is early morning, the sun is barely up. In the early parts of dawn, you are in the water in your row boat. Off to your task of fishing, you head towards the middle of the lake. Surrounded by the morning mist, the scene is quiet and untouched and peaceful. However as you approach the middle of the lake it becomes foggier, and foggier. Visibility is next to nothing, and you lose your orientation in space and time. What I have just tried to describe is a typical scenario of confusion in our lives as we continue to deeply pursue a course of action whether in a career or a relationship. That is just the nature of things. There comes a point where you are so involved in what you are doing that sometimes you lose sight of your geographical surroundings and spiritually are adrift. You ask yourself what am I doing here, and where am I going? 

Disconnected and lost, it becomes scary at times feeling alone and genuinely frightened as you have no way of reorienting to your familiar points of navigation. This can be in a job that you are at, where the running of the company has been so disjointed that you are disheartened,dazed and desperately searching for your place. This feeling can be in a relationship that has flourished for a while but now you do not know who all the players are and moreover why the various family members  are acting the way they do. There then becomes the concern of the family or job falling apart. "Lost in the fog of life " is something that happens to everyone at some point in their existence. Unfortunately it is inevitable. However getting out of this state is not as hard and impossible as one might think. You have to listen to the foghorn of your soul to redirect you out of the fog. 

If you quieten  your agitated  mind, you can hear the solutions coming from within. Your true Self talks to you all the time, but unfortunately we do not listen as we are too caught up with our erratic thoughts that run our lives into a tumultuous ride. You will come up with innovative ideas of how to bring the family back to a sense of warm well being and connectivity. You will have the bright sparks of reformation that  will make your job more smooth, efficient and productive. Being caught up in the fog does not help matters. Listening to the foghorn you navigate forward, backwards, or sideway as you steer your rowboat in the direction of the guiding sound. The louder it sounds, this means that it is filled with  more positive energy, and the closer you are to reaching the shore. The softer it is, the less positive energy and further away from shore, and the further away you are from reaching a solution and destination.

The world is a beautiful place to be, just as the scene of the serene lake. Life happens and so the represented  fog can choke us into stagnation right in the middle of the worldly lake. Yet as with everything in nature, no fog lasts forever and it will dissipate. The morning sun with its radiant energies burn up the fog revealing the clarity and the beauty of your life once again. The fog of ignorance  is dispelled once the knowledge of the self takes hold. The  row boat, namely you, returns safely to land carried in tow  by the energetic foghorn of your soul's brightness, positive light and fully awakened status. Being consistently  mindful helps to keep your row boat balanced and always heading in the right direction, yet an additional tool that is always present and ever ready to help you is your personal soul's foghorn. It is eternally playing its tune to keep you navigationally sound, whether you heed its warnings and solutions also determines whether you find the shore line of peace or stay in the fog. 

How loud is your foghorn today?

I am stuck and I can't get out

"I am stuck in my routines and hate my life, and I cant get out"

 

I hear this from many friends, family and strangers and it happens to me on occasion. The inability to change your environment is a very disconcerting and awkward feeling. It gives us the sense of lack of control of our lives and it becomes demoralizing. With no way out, we resort to the continued struggle of our daily existence without hope. This unfortunately further digs our disappointing holes and we lead down the path of despair. How do we get this way and how do we get out of this rigamarole?  In my opinion we get into this rut by not being aware of what is happening to us when things do happen and by allowing this cycle to continue. By being flippant or brave  we keep shelving issues and locking them away into the drawer and not dealing with them either because  we are too busy and not focussed or out of fear of having to deal with the issues and facing up to the consequences. 

Nature is all about balance, and one good thing is that nature will make us face up to the imbalance even if we do not feel like it.  It does this by the way the state of affairs makes us feel. You do not feel good, you seek out better health. You are too stressed, you develop ill health that forces you to change your ways. You are unhappy with your life, you feel the urge and the need to self preserve and modify your life. The more aware you are as life gets "thrown" at you as it happens moment to moment, the less you have to make a radical shift to fix the disequilibrium. Small adjustments to your attitude regularly will then not necessitate major adjustments later. By being focussed in the moment we actually deal with things as they happen fresh, versus dealing with them later, and then having to deal with not just one issue but a mountain of issues. We think by postponing issues we are being brave, but in fact its because of deep seated fears that we enjoy staying in our ignorance and in to the ostrich hole. 

What are these issues? These are everything that comes our way in the form of stimuli. How we end up reacting to them determines how full or empty our drawers and in-baskets of misery get. Some examples. 

The pangs of hunger.... we reach out for the chocolate  donut in arms reach. We end up with sugar highs and lows, and feel horrible and in stressed conditions overeat. These continuous habits like this may lead to obesity and diabetes. We are miserable and curse the consequences and blame others for this problem that we are in. Solution, reach out for a healthier snack, and watch what you eat, quantity and quality.  If we were more aware of the moment we should be able to be conscious of what we put into our own mouths.

We need to exercise....instead we feel tired and do not seize the opportunity to get into a better healthier routine, and then ill health sets in with complications. Being aware that the feeling of tiredness will be just transient we can overcome it and then "persuade' ourselves to go exercise. 

The child is crying and trying to get your attention....you turn on the TV and say watch this for a while, just so you can get some peace and quiet.The digital babysitter becomes the digital parent and then you have lost the opportunity to bond and connect with your child, that just needed a few minutes of connecting time. It then becomes too late when they are older to change their habits. Playstations, gameboys, xbox then become their friends. Try pulling them away from their new friends now. 

Impulse buying.....you see an advertisement, or an item in someones' possession and believe owning that item will make you superior or better off. You spend your earnings accordingly and then later regret being in debt from maxing out the credit cards. Simply pausing before the purchase and thinking whether the impulse felt is a necessity or not, changes your spending habits.

A disagreement with a friend or family member... you believe your point of view is correct, as usually is the case. You refuse to think about another point of view even for a second lest your ego is bruised. A fight ensues and you refuse to talk to the other person for a period of time. Hours, days, months and years may go by. That person may have even died, and now no chance at forgiveness and remorse to set you free, despair sets in, along with guilt. The chance to have said sorry, or completed the unfinished conversation lost, the misery lingers.

The unhappiness at the job.... you continue to keep accepting the abuse, till one day all you are doing is the job for the sake of a paycheck that you are beholden too. The reasons for why you did the job in that profession lost, you are miserable, unhappy, and lose your lustre. Solution was simple to begin with, in that you deal with the coworkers or the job tasks at the time they were getting overwhelming or borderline abusive and taken corrective action. 

The impatience to get to work late....you started the day late, you rushed out the door and drove too quickly and got a speeding ticket. A little more mindful and cautionary driving would have avoided the ticket. A regrettable and unnecessary choice that in hindsight could have led to a different outcome had a shift in consciousness occurred. 

There are countless examples unique to each individual but common to us all, that occur constantly in our daily lives that impact us detrimentally. Layers and layers of issues that are generated constantly, that pile up high till one day you are stuck in the mud. Unable to move out, unable to move forward. Stagnant, hurt and upset you exist and forget to live.  A life full of different choices that make us feel that many  bad choices were taken, ergo when we should have zigged instead of zagged, and the inertia of our lives sets in. The key to getting out of quick sand or mud is not to fight it, as that makes it worse. How do we get out of the sticky mud?

Gratitude. This is one of the fastest ways of realigning yourself with the universe and the abundant energy available to pull you out of your predicament. But how can you be thankful for the rotten things that happen? That is exactly the point, letting into the force that holds you, releases you too. Gratitude stirs up positive energy, which helps attract more positivity that finally helps break the shackles. Once broken, the shackle of your fears cannot hold you down and then you start changing the orbit of your  life to higher levels, and your problematic issues descent to lower levels. At higher orbits a different perspective ensues, leading to more unlimited possibilities. 

Start off with simple gratitude exercises, such as nightly "thank you" for 5 things that happened to you that day.  Whether it is as simplistic as "thank you for being alive" or "thank you for being able to eat a meal" or "thank you for being able to come home". Whatever the list, it has be yours, and not necessary to share it with anyone. As you progress, expand the exercises to 10, 15, 20 etc thank you encounters. If you choose to increase the level of difficulty of the exercise,  you can make them non repetitive as your gratitude circle expands.  Then in the morning before getting out of bed, come up with 5 things that you are going to be thankful for in your day. Let the miracle unfold as your exercises turn into positive energy creating wands. Then like Harry Potter, start waving your positive energy directed wands at your mud. Visualize yourself coming out of your "stuck"situations, and walking free on top of the mud piles. Now walking on water, I leave that up to the professionals, which if I am not mistaken only one person has done that in history !! 

Free of being stuck? Help someone who still is....

Leaving a mark without a trace

Leaving a mark without a trace

Foot prints in the snow. Graffiti on the wall. Memories of your childhood interactions. Musical pieces, artistic paintings, Sculptures and statues. You. What do all these items have in common? They all have one unifying thread and that is they still are here and they tell a story. The footprints in the snow tell the tale of a journey. The graffiti and the paintings reveal artistic impressions. The music and sculptures demonstrate creativity. The greatest of all these stories and creations is You. It is your creations that tell the story in whatever format, pictorial or musical. 

Through out our time here on the planet we have left our mark in some fashion. Right from cave drawings to magnificent works of architecture or creations of technology we leave our mark for future generations to remember us. It is our own personal sense of immortality. The memories of our childhood are filled with tales of relatives long ago who did this or that, or those living elder relatives that had some impact on our lives, are the memories we cherish. Stories round the proverbial homely campfires are told, legends are forged, and immortality attained. We all want to leave a mark of ourselves, an imprint if you will.  Whether it is something that the world sees or just a child. You may not remember your grandmother too well, but you do remember those words of wisdom passed down by her, as well as her special recipe of your favorite feel good dish.

Kindness, empathy, forgiveness, gentleness and selflessness are just some ways you can start impacting your own soulfulness unto others, be it to a friend, a family member, a stranger or the world as a whole. Soon these qualities will form joy, happiness, instill confidence and a sense of fulfillment in all that you touch. You initiate the forging of memories through your connections with others, and so the ripple effect continues, and your immortality is ensured. Never underestimate the imprint  you can have on anyone through your interactions. If you do, you have only underestimated yourself. There is an old saying a penny saved is a penny earned. You may think that this is a really bad savings plan, however you will be surprised how one small investment in kindness leaves a small trace, which then expands to a seed of generosity in someone else. This further evolves to a state of abundance rapidly, and then preserves a mark of peace. Scarcity to abundance with one little act.  Show up and leave a mark.

Dig your heals deep and do something creative that bears your mark. Leave a trail of bread crumbs of goodness throughout your life. Find your talent. It is not a question of if a talent exists, it is simply finding out what it is. Whether you are good at just listening to others, or helping others, or creating a work of music, art, sculpture. Whether it is mediating, negotiating, or fixing.  It is a talent that makes YOU  unique. The universe with its infinite variety and diversity also made you and left its mark in this world through your existence. The trace is there. Will you leave this world without a trace or with trails blazing is still up to you while you still have the time. 

Make your mark count but go easy on your carbon footprint.