A vacation or an escape from reality ?

A Vacation or an escape from reality

Hours planning your week of vacation spent looking for the best deals on hotels, flights, activities to do when you get there. Even when you reach your dream vacation you are engrossed in keeping the family together and on target with the usual tide of eating, sleeping, dressing etc. You try to enjoy the minutes of the vacation, feeling that "this is it, you have reached nirvana" yet all the while your mind is somewhere else. The curiosity burns with questions of work related matters, pending home related chores, the upcoming tax year and so on. Perhaps you are brave enough to turn on your smart phone and check a few emails from work and text messages to ensure your returning work pile is not as high when you get back to the office. Before you know it, you are packed and hustling and bustling the family back to home and the vacation is over and you are right back into your"comfort zone" with a sigh " geez I wish I had a vacation !!"

We all  need a break from the daily grind, of this there is no doubt. No one is a machine that can continuously keep working and never stop, or at least at some point they will burn out eventually. We want to work so that we can have a vacation or do we want a vacation so that we can keep working.  We clearly do not want to be remembered as the person who would say " I wish I could do more work !!" I have thought about this problem on many a post vacation occasion as I realize I too fall into this rut. Yet is there is a solution to this dilemma? The answer lies in first identifying the question. What do we seek : a vacation or an escape from reality. Both are very different and both cost different amounts. A vacation requires geography and usually financial funds. The latter requires a shift in perspective, a willing heart, a disciplined mind and no money, yet harder to achieve. 

The escape from reality can occur daily and even though relatively planned into your schedule does not require sanctioned time off. By harnessing your mind and meditating on letting go of worries, tensions, fears and stresses, you end up quite recharged and rejuvenated. In fact sometimes even more refreshed than when you go for a vacation.  You are fulfilling the same intention which is getting rest from your daily ablutions in the home and work environments. I would gently suggest that perhaps the use of the meditation avenue might in fact have better health effects both physical and mental. By constantly being refreshed daily, you might even be more productive at work and at home, since you are perpetually energized as if you were taking daily mini vacations.  

The escape from reality is not delusional nor is it illusional. It is simply just that, an escape. You are going to have to come back, but what state do you plan to be in when you do, grumpy or relaxed? Try incorporating a daily meditative routine into your life. Do not set yourself up for failure by fooling yourself and thinking that you can do a half hour or longer on the first, second or even third attempt. Meditate with the use of your breathing in and out. Few minutes will eventually build into  30 minutes, and gradually increase from there. The more you can do, the more rejuvenated you will become. Perhaps spending some time learning these techniques from a teacher, or a meditation school or class, or audio trainers might help. You could use some of your precious vacation days towards this endeavor, since it does pay dividend in the end game. You might be in so much bliss on your escape from reality you will need to escape back to reality !! Are you still dreaming of a vacation or you spending your vacation dreaming? 

Escape while you can....Reality is calling

Etc.

Etc. 

At times I find my self in conversation with friends, usually by  starting off with full gusto but soon the sentence structure changes and I abbreviate the sentence and close it by saying "etc" Either due to impatience in completing the conversation and running off to tasks to be completed or due to a sudden change or lapse of awareness of the moment,the "etc" blurbs out. How much detail of the conversation is missed during the insertion of the word etcetera ?

The etcetera comes from Latin to mean "and other things" or "and so forth." From the Greek it literally translates to "and the other things." Lost in translation is my understanding of the term when you do not complete communicating the thoughts of your sentence and simply dismiss the remaining thought into "and other things." You quickly dissolve what you might have imparted as an interesting idea or an explanation toward a favorable concept into nothingness. Now imagine if you were narrating to a friend about their good qualities " you are intelligent, smart, kind etc etc" What you have just done is lump all good qualities into one word, namely etc, and diminished the praise into nothing. You might  have completed the sentence and said " you are generous, fun loving and polite" but that is lost in translation and that friend will never know how you truly felt. 

Another example is you informing someone that you cannot meet them due to the numerous time sensitive items to be done in the day. The conversation goes something like this "I really cannot meet you today because I have to get the car fixed, pay the bills, etc etc" To the person hearing this conversation is clearly appears that you are just blowing them off. Yet if completed the conversation may have been along the lines of " I have to also pick up my son from school, and get my daughter to dance practice and visit the sick relative in the hospital." Now these are all valid legitimate reasons for not meeting due the nature of complex coordination and organization of the commitments, yet the word etc simply finished the sentence abruptly and thereby changing the style of the conversation to one of being flippant. 

All too often we place this word etcetera into our subconscious and it propagates into our conscious mind and so we become less and less aware of the moment, as we not only abbreviate our speech but also our own personal thoughts pre speech. By doing so we diminish our experiences. An example. I am rushing around doing numerous activities like grocery shopping, cutting the grass, filling gas etc etc. I do all these chores "and other things" yet I am forgetting about living my life by being present in the moment and so performing fruitful activities such as playing a game of ball with your child who much needs your attention , or saying a nice thing to a perfect stranger, or helping a friend in their time of need. The etcetera might expand on your good personal qualities of mercy, forgiveness, kindness, love, gratitude or abundance. Yet when you do not spell out your conversation you miss something. When you do not be aware of your good qualities and lump them together, you forget to act according to those modes of nature. 

On the other hand, when you dwell on negative surroundings such as the bad state of economy, finances, healthcare, or a difficult time in a relationship "etc etc" then this in fact expands and the negativity spreads into every aspect of your life as the universe tries to rationally expand that word etcetera not knowing that you are tagging a non positive connotation to it. Hence the etc spreads to your daily routine in that you are always late, your  work in that you cannot get ahead, your personal life in that you are constantly having disputes, just to name a few examples. I would propose that you slow down and finish the thought in your head to completion. Following this you speak clearly and voice out your thoughts. Subsequently, you follow through with simple and honest actions. No misunderstandings, since nothing lost  in translation. No problems in conversations since the ideas and dialogue are clearly spelled out. No confusions as the actions are transparent.  During your day count the number of times you use the word etcetera and then think what words would you have used instead of that word to complete that thought, word or action and see if circumstances would have been different. 

Enjoy your life with fun, happiness, peace of mind, joy etc etc etc etc !!!!

Lost luggage

Lost Luggage

Nothing is worse than arriving after a long flight and going to the baggage arrival carousel and waiting for your luggage to circulate to you, when after the conveyor belt has stopped, you realize your luggage has been lost. A whole set of negative emotions rise up and like a Tsunami overwhelm you. Anger is the final response that ends up being wielded as a mighty sword against anyone and everyone that the mind conjures up, eg airlines, ground staff, baggage handlers etc. Yet why are we so upset. Is it because we feel cheated, do we express emotions at airline incompetence, or are do we simply feel that our possessions have been stolen?

I believe that we have put so much value on the contents of the baggage that we hold on to it so tight that when lost we feel that part of ourselves is lost too. Nobody wants to ever intentionally lose their bags or possessions but the same reaction occurs when airport security happens to open a locked suitcase and reseal it up with a sticker announcing that they have touched your possessions. We feel at some level violated. No one is going to be happy that their suitcase has been jimmied open by some total stranger and thanks to that encounter the flight was a safer one, since most passengers will not violate civil law and jeopardize or inconvenience their existing travel  plans. So we hold onto the contents so tightly that it hurts to let go. Now imagine the same with past negative experiences, perhaps a bad martial issue, a terrible childhood encounter, or an angry meeting, or a betrayal. You hold on to these emotional issues so tightly that you in fact own them. You lock them away into a bag within your soul and you carry this around with you all day and night long. No matter how heavy the luggage you bear the burden even if it exceeds the weight limit. Now unexpectedly parting with it may make you feel uncomfortable, kind of like losing the physical baggage at the airport.

Letting go of the contents of your mind and heart willingly unloads your soul's baggage. Facing your fears, confronting those past experiences with courage, strength and resolve ensures that the past history of the cumulative encounters stay in the past and do not hinder your future. Forgive and forget brings peace and calmness to the soul and lightens the heart. No one can then violate the empty baggage at your own personal security check. Look into your soul and see what inside you is on the prohibited  travel baggage list. So the next time you travel, travel light. No heavy backpack of unhappy memories. Sometimes the carousel will bring back luggage on its circuitous route, just as life does the same with various unresolved issues from past negative days, bringing it back to your doorstep when you least expect it. Simply look at the tag on the baggage, identify the experience, acknowledge it for what it was and let it go and say " Thank you but this isn't my bag." It is very easy to blame someone for your inconvenience, yet it is you who are to blame for lost luggage. Why did you pack so much and exceed the weight limit?

Letting go of the past ills makes way for the futures' abundance, happiness and goodness to take hold. When the contents are disowned, the bag gets lighter and smaller. Soon you do not even need to carry a bag on the trip of life. This takes time and effort to truly let go and be free, yet it can be done. Freedom to travel has always been my passion and a goal to pursue. Freedom to travel light is a dream that most of us have yet to experience.So the next time you find yourself at the baggage claim counter, and the staff person asks "Lost Luggage?"  Your reply in a calm, and relaxed tone could be " Probably did not need all that stuff anyway."

Lost your luggage? Maybe the Universe will reimburse you for it. 

Wearing sunglasses

Wearing sunglasses

The sun shines  on a non cloudy day with unhindered brightness. You put on your cool polarized sun glasses and give your eyes the much needed shade. You look at things through your glasses very differently. If you turn your head from side to side while focussing on some lcd screens you may find that an interesting illusion occurs. Objects on the screen appear and disappear depending on the direction you move your head ergo your glasses. This phenomenon is understood due to the simple physics of the polarized glasses in that as light is essentially blocked in one plane or the next depending on the angle of the glasses. This got me thinking....

All too often we exist within our lives with out ever living as we are always wearing these shades over our eyes. We do not and sometimes cannot see the goodness and the beauty surrounding us through nature, through mankind, and certainly cannot appreciate our own reflection of perfection that we choose to ignore. After a while we are so used to seeing everything through these shades that our brains, our  minds and our hearts forget that we have become polarized and biased in what ever we see. We turn a blind eye to injustice, lying, greed, jealousy and then live in a field of negativity, totally unaware of our situation. The darkened sensitivity becomes the norm, and we then blend with the darker shades of light and become jaded right into our core. We are unable to see the lighter side of things. We are unable to appreciate the positivity, the warmth of natures beauty, or the genuineness of others. If everyone just roamed around with their sunglasses on at all times of the day, well who is left to testify that there is light to be seen. 

With these polarized glasses and reduced vision we are easily swayed and lose perspective and believe that everyones' intentions are also flawed and in error, and that is when the ego comes in to tell us that we are right and that only our individual pair of branded sunglasses are the correct vision glasses. We dwell in the negativity of what we believe we see, and so lose hope, encouragement and revel in the land of unfulfilled dreams. By catching yourself off guard, you can tilt your head just enough to realize the illusion. By becoming aware of the moment you then have the ability to gently take off your glasses and take in the light. At first you shun away from the intensity of the sunlight with your hands, as you realize that the world you are living in has been a falsehood. Too much to bear you almost put the glasses back on hoping to fall back into  your comfortable world of polar opposites. Yet something inside tells you to stop and give the light a chance. That something is You. The spirit, the soul or your inner Self.  Call it what you will, but it is the same stuff as the Universal light  that is always shining bright. Soon you bask in the sunlight and take it all in. The goodness, the love, the happiness, the joy, the peace and the strength all embedded in this light enables us to move forward. So again in a non cloudy day the sun shines bright uninterrupted all around us. The question is really whether you are willing to accommodate to the brightness around you and within you, and allow the positivity embrace you and hence you radiate it back out, or are you more apt to put your polarized designer sun glasses back on and live in the drudgery of your day. 

Are you too cool for shades?  

Shuffling your deck of cards

Shuffling your deck of cards

As you open a fresh pack the newness of the cards is known. You shuffle, you cut, you spread them out across from you  in a straight line. There are multiple shuffling techniques enabling the randomness to be distributed within the deck. You play whichever card game you wish with the hope of winning, but of course.  Playing a game of cards is the same as playing the game in life. The cards represent each possibility of a choice that you make. Do you give away and replace cards in poker, or do you add cards till you 'bust" in the game of 21. Every card has an equal chance in getting you to your next level of achievement. The key is not necessarily knowing the cards but using them in the right sequence as a means to an end. There are those professional card players who will reluctantly tell you that the secret of the game is not playing your set of cards but instead playing that of your opponents' hand. In life this too applies. 

Each card is a chance at an opportunity or an experience that you can have. Each card like the experience is unique and can lead to a different sequence and eventual shift in your game or consciousness. Each card or card game can be viewed as the individual lives of all of the people around you and not just pertaining to you. There are so many cards in the deck and each one as important as the next. Each person or each card has its own value and their own future plans as they get shuffled in the deck or world with all the other people in it. You can either look at the deck of cards as yours with each card for you, or that you are just another card. Sometimes trusting the dealer is just as important as trusting the hand you are dealt. The dealer namely God, the universe or life, distributes the cards of your experiences or distributes everyone represented as a card in a cosmic deck with fairness. Which card you pick and how you "gamble" the choices is up to you.

 Just remember the "house" always wins. By that I mean that the universal mind will always win at the game of life to bring happiness, peace and joy and stability to the game. You may lose if not paying attention to the game and get upset at your dealt hand and blame the Dealer yet it is not the dealer's fault of the outcome of the game when it is your game that you are playing. My suggestion would be not to try to cheat the game,  but instead play your own hand with fairness and being aware of the moment, and by playing your cards right you are in fact playing your opponent which in many cases is the "house"

Enjoying the game and not gambling off your prize possessions and qualities of integrity, honesty, truth and character as bargaining chips helps you to stay in the game and select the appropriate card instinctively ensuring your own winning streak.  How good you are in which ever game you decide to play depends on practice, and so this practice needs patience, steadfastness and of course mindfulness. With the right focus, leads to awareness, attention to details and correct hands of cards that lead to the "full house" for a successful and winning game.

Pick a card, any card and have the greatest game of your life. 

Enjoying the rose garden

Enjoying the Rose garden

The gardeners among us or at least those with a green thumb love to spend their precious time on the knees, hands covered with dirt and connecting with nature. No garden is really complete without a rose garden. Roses are beautiful not only for their variety of colors but also their delightful scents. We pluck them and given as an offering of love to someone we care about. For some reason I have always been afraid of roses. I thought back long and hard and remembered an incident in England as a child, running innocently through bushes of roses and then picking at a stem and getting nastily  pricked. I can still seem to recall the pain and the mending of my wounds by my parents. A negative emotion has been stuck in my mind with what others would deem a magnificent flower. The rose has been the subject of countless stories, symbolic gestures and terrific icons of love, power or strength, and in some instances spirituality in various faiths or as in British royal history the famous war of roses signifying the historical battles of rivaling Royal Houses. 

The petals are elegant and are interestingly edible not only to humans but to many animals like squirrels and deer who are unafraid of the thorns. Those prickly protectors deter some but not everyone. So too can this apply to our own personalities. Rosy on the outside we are ever cheerful, happy and at peace with our surroundings. With wonderful scent we give off the vibes of being good, kind and gentle. Underneath we have the thorns, or subconscious driven by fear, to turn our outlook pleasant appearance into one of anger, resentment and hate that wards off anyone coming towards us. There are those people who are not perturbed by the outward appearance and will still assist and befriend us, like the timely squirrel or deer who are undisturbed by the thorny stems. 

My reaction to the roses was one of negativity and yet it was so strong and intense that it has transcended time and lasted this long into adulthood. Our personas that we emanate can generate strong feelings and energies within others to either welcome them near us or deter them from us. That persona is perceived and remembered by history. We can look at the outward bouquets of roses or even remember the solitary beautiful rose but never forget the potential of the harming thorns within that can hurt. The thorns are a protective mechanism for the flower, and so is the power of fear to keep us from harm by being vigilant and sharp to enable self preservation, it is evolutionary. Yet there are thornless roses that thrive just as well. Either we can be rose bushes with thorns and tolerate adversity or we can be thorn bushes with roses and bear sacrifice. My opinion is that of keeping the thorns pruned and at a minimum so as to allow just enough prickliness to be able to protect yourself from getting eaten but overwhelmingly be the rose. Ever attractive, ever at peace, symbolizing beauty, purity and dignity. Keeping an elevated status amongst the botanical world has certainly not been easy for the rose, but not an impossibility. Happiness, serenity and goodness are the qualities that the rose instills in you when you lays eyes on it, I would encourage you to take a lesson from this messenger of nature and be the same.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I wish only peace from me to you.

Everything in moderation

Everything in moderation

"Water in moderation never killed anyone"-Mark Twain.  One of my favorite quotes. Water is so powerful that its power can never truly be harnessed, yet it travels gently in streams and with tumultuous force in water falls and in storms. We are always rearing to go. Have you noticed that when you are driving and come to a red light, the moment the person in front of you has moved forward you too accelerate with full force and close the gap quickly. The same applies while driving on the high way leading to tail gating as you speed up behind the car. We are quick to react, we are quick to consume the life around us whether it is food, conversation, or love. If we cannot control our minds how can we expect to control our  temperaments. Unfortunately moderation has fallen out of our vocabulary. Even political reactions between countries have to be an "appropriately  measured response." Yet bombing another nation is never a moderate response regardless of who started the fight. 

The definition of moderation is avoidance of extremes. Too high or too low, too much force or too little force. Excess or scarcity of anything violates the concept of moderation. Moderation is about balance. It is about being equanimous and resisting the tipping of temperaments in any direction. We can start by understanding moderation by simply being aware of the moment we are in. Therefore by being aware of the moment we immediately "see" what we are doing and so realize the upset of balance and hence the movement back to harmony is quick and swift. There are innumerable examples in our daily lives of how we are off kilter and just by recognition of the moment we restore moderation. Eating and drinking at every meal as one example. Acknowledging what we are putting into our bodies, and the types and portions of food and drink helps control what touches our lips. By exercising portion control or number of alcoholic beverages consumed at any one time through awareness of the moment helps us to swing back the pendulum of excess to moderation. 

Yelling and screaming at another person is yet another example. Pausing before the yell helps awareness to take hold and an instant judgment of appropriate response is calculated. This in turn helps to "moderate" the response. Centering your  mind helps  to maintain a focal point from which a response and reaction is controlled by the Self and not by the uninitiated mind. Moderation is a great tool in not just life and self fulfillment through exercise, nutrition, social interactions but also in  connection with our fellow beings, nature and our inner selves. 

One might argue that if you just stay in moderation you do not "get ahead" in life or in competition or through exercise when " pushing your limits" to get stronger or more stamina. Competition is when we get ahead whether in the pursuit of areas finance, intellect, profession or even in relationships. I would propose that the "pushing your limits" is beneficial certainly but not mutually exclusive of moderation. If you are advancing your "set point" then do so with a clear conscience, thought and purpose. Ethically with restraint the set point is moved to a new higher level of progress whereby a new balance and moderate status is joyfully achieved. Lack of good conduct, lack of faith and integrity will upset the balance and the new set point will never last. Every peak can be advanced. Even the highest tip of the Himalayan mountains has a new height each year, as the mountain grows ever so slowly, with poise and purpose, and so moderation is always achieved. 

We can learn a tremendous amount from nature and its use of moderation to grow, expand and flourish. Respect, reverence and resolution are some of the stepping stones as you try to embrace moderation. The force and fluidity of water,  the solidification of a mountain, the vastness of the sky, the intensity of a burning fire, and the wonder of the immeasurable Self are all examples of extremes that have moderate temperaments within nature. The more aware you are of the moment, the more "in moderation" you become. The more moderate you become, the more awake you truly are, and so the harmonic restoration of balance of your Self is attained. And is not that what we are in fact what we are all searching for in our lifespan?

All this immense expansive power to grow tempered in a little child or seed of a plant, now that is moderation.