Vision 20/20

We keep running through our lives making choices, decisions, and sometimes if we look back, we see that perhaps that decision was the right or wrong one. We judge the past and blow through the present as we try to chance it into the future. They say "hindsight is 20/20". Looking back at the past we can easily reevaluate all the decisions and pass approval or disapproval over them. But unfortunately rarely do we learn from the past and change the future with a vision. Sometimes we hope and pray that we can divine of what to do in the future? Wish that someone  would tell us just what to do, so we do not make the same mistakes. I would submit that each "mistake" helps us to change our vision, our future automatically. We need to make our vision  of the future 20/20. 

I believe we all have that vision inside us, waiting to come out. We know exactly what we need, want and know but how do we get that vision out? Simply, by letting go of the past, and staying in the present. Easier said or read than done. But lets think about this. By allowing yourself to stay in the present, we awaken more than the moment, but ourselves in the moment. We become focussed allowing our Self to coming in tune with a vibrational harmony that sets into motion a future.  Do you remember how irritating it is when your glasses are foggy and dirty with smudges and dust? Just like when you  clean your spectacles or sunglasses with a clean cloth and then can see clearer afterwards and are in some small degree happier,  you can do the same thing by cleaning up your vision by cleaning up and letting go of all the burdens of the past that weigh you down in the present holding you back from a brighter vision of the future. Worries, stresses, regrets, failures and doubts all fall into this bag of burden.  

Gaining your vision is akin to watching a lotus flower open. It may take long time to see it open fully, with great satisfaction, but in the end the vision may very well be the flower itself and the watching being the journey. I am inferring that perhaps the journey you take and the longing you seek for " a vision" may very well be the vision itself and you are living it right here and now. You recognize it only by being in the moment.  By slowing down and letting go and vibrating to a slower frequency, you clean up your thoughts, feelings, and knowing. Then your vision takes shape from thoughts, then into spoken word and then in action leading to a better experience of life. 

Here is a little exercise, close your eyes and envision the following:  

You are in a boat in the middle of a large river. You are stagnant, non moving. You look around and see that there are hooks all around the edges of the boat, and attached to the hooks are long ropes that are holding onto anchors. These are all around you, at all hands of the clock if you will. Now imagine you systematically cutting these ropes starting at 4 and 8 o'clock, then 5 and 7 o'clock. The further you head towards the 6 o'clock the harder it gets but you can do it. The ropes are all various burdens of the past that have been holding you back, they may be your disappointments, your regrets, your troubles and failures. 6 o'clock is your fear generated from your cumulative past. Can you feel your boat rocking and moving now? Now start cutting the ropes at 1, 2, and  10 ,11 o'clock positions. These are all your hopes, wishes and wants. No need for these if you just launch into the future and make them happen versus keeping them in them in the imaginary state of wanting field.  But if you notice the boats rocking but still not moving forward. You have yet to sever the 3 and 9 o'clock ropes. These are keeping you from moving. These are your doubts. Cut them yet?  Now your boat launches forward on the river of life at the 12 o'clock position in to the future, with thrust and pull into a vision that has no bounds. Not bonded you are free. 

Now open your eyes and watch your boat cruise with great speed with the clear vision that you always knew you had.

Where is my Umbrella?

There is one household item that seems to always be in shortage and in abundance. The umbrella. It comes in almost infinite types, sizes, colors, patterns, styles and in some cases unique shapes. In any case I always seem to be losing mine, but yet it always shows up in the most unusual places, when I least expect it. I am organized and I think I routinely put it back in the same spot once used, but it is never there, and then refound at the office, or in the car or in a friends place. Sometimes I end up with several umbrellas ! Is it the same umbrella or are there just a few around in the world that we keep picking up some one elses umbrella and so recycle the same few everywhere. 

This umbrella is just an example of other facets of our lives that we keep losing and refinding. I am referring to the emotions of happiness, satisfaction, and kindness. We like to "pigeon box" these emotions like the umbrella in one place but when you want it, it may not be there, but when you need it, it will come back to you in some shape, size, or form from somewhere you least expect it, and perhaps from someone you least expect it. But as I am discovering, my umbrella like these emotions are for all to share. You cannot hold on to things, people or situations when you cannot even hold on to your emotions ! If you free them from your ego bondage of " must haves" then you will be light hearted enough to receive them when you need them at the right time and place. 

Usually an umbrella will do its job and keep you relatively dry. Windy and gusty weather, can unfold your umbrella and twist it to the point of no use, but why should these outside influences worry you. Why let it twist and unfold you. Your strength, conviction, and resolve should sustain you till you find or purchase another umbrella. In other words, despite the apparent turmoil of the world or the turmoil of your mind and soul ( ergo the harsh weather), if you keep yourself in the moment and not react especially to the loss of the emotions of happiness and be dissatisfied, your umbrella ( your joy) will return to you. Bad weather never lasts. If you are at peace from within then you never really lose your umbrella, and the stronger and more at peace you are, the less likely your strengthened umbrella will succumb to the weather or the outside chaos.

Trying to hold on to the umbrella tightly will also not help you. Not even in the face of a torrential storm. But knowing that the umbrella will fulfill its purpose and keep you as dry as possible, you will be less inclined to discard it at the first sign of trouble. The rest is up to you, so perhaps you need to get out of the wake of the storm ! The umbrella can only do so much, as can your emotions, that is when you need to be a little more proactive and know what to avoid and when to venture out. By no means am I encouraging you to be a shut in and never go out so as to not even experience the weather  ( rainy or otherwise), because then if you never get the divine opportunity to use your umbrella you will never really experience the joy of happiness, kindness or satisfaction. 

I do not think that there are only a few umbrellas in the world that are recycled, but I do believe that there is an abundance of happiness, kindness, satisfaction in the world and the universe, pervading us all and flowing through everyone. So go today and get yourself a very colorful, nicely shaped umbrella, that will cheer you up, and do not worry if you misplace it or lose it, because if everyone does the same and has a colorful umbrella what difference does it make. Then one day you may get an umbrella back from the universe that looks just like yours, full of happiness, kindness and satisfaction. 

So bundle up and reach out for your umbrella and take a walk out on a rainy day and enjoy the moment. Now if you want to go singing in the rain ( like the 1952 movie with Gene Kelly) go for it :)

Can you please listen to Me?

Shout, scream, rant and rave all you want. Do you get the feeling that no one is hearing or listening to you? You can tell your office co workers the same thing over and over again. You can tell your spouse, family, your children all day long about endless topics and yet no one hears you about getting anything done. No one is listening. The same can be said about yourself by all these other individuals, that you are not listening to them. But is it really an issue of miscommunication or are we not hearing or listening to ourselves.

 

This "miscommunication" occurs all the time, leading to rivalry, break up of marriages, relationships, families and job changes. So often we go through this anguish, and try to understand what is or what went wrong. What if there was nothing really wrong in the first place.  It is not miscommunication but more misconnection. An example of this is in my typical day at night time. Let me elaborate. Envision the following: I try to at first calmly inform my son that it is time to go to sleep. I take him to the bedroom, we say goodnight to everything in the house, and then the moment the bedroom door closes while I am still in there in the room, the hysterics begin. The running to the door, trying to push me aside to open the door to escape, the screaming, the crying, the drama continues for an hour at times. My voice gets gruffer, and louder and sterner eventually trying to "command" him to get back in bed and go to sleep. Like that has ever worked with an 18 month old toddler  !! I laugh inside everytime I even say it. The picture of the father standing tall trying to order the little crying child to do anything authoratatively has probably been the funniest scene in history, next to licking a frosted lampost and getting stuck!

 

Like a bolt from the blue, it struck me, he is not listening to me, no one is but I am not listening to myself either. The reason I was getting more irritable during these encounters is that I was not getting the desired result, namely for him to stop crying and go to sleep so I could go on and do other things. I was reacting. I am not a child psychologist so I do not pretend even for a moment that I have the foggiest of what is going on in my son's head during these encounters, but here is how I changed the interaction and got a different outcome. I stopped getting angry. I stopped the commanding. I got to his level and sat down. I told him I was here for him and I was not going anywhere and asked him to tell me what was the matter. Thats it. The crying went on for a few more seconds ( I probably caught him by surprise), and then he gave me a hug, sobbed, and then proceeded to goto his bed ! 

 

What happened, did I just strike gold? No, all I did was listen, and stopped reacting. Most of our problems I believe occurs from constant reactions. So I changed the equation. I realized that the reason why I was getting more emotionally charged was because I was not listening to him, but actually because he was not listening to me, but in reality I was not listening to myself. I was actually trying to bring forth the statement " I need control  of this situation so i can go do something else more important and not be here". Once you realize what YOU are trying to voice, and listen to YOURSELF, the answers come naturally. By immediately then telling myself, that the other activites have no urgency at this moment, and that I am going to be present, my ego shut off, since all it wanted was to be heard. I then focussed on "listening" to my son who probably was in the same predicament as I was namely that no one was listening to him ! 

So we both eventually got what we wanted. I heard and listened to myself, I then heard and listened to him, and vice versa, he felt his voice was heard and peace reigned. I got to my activities in a timely fashion. Remember there is no reason to shout unless the house is on fire. 

 

Once we simply listen, we can truly hear. The Divine source is speaking, we just do not shut up long enough to hear above the din of our egos, rattling minds, and misguided voices. A moment a day of listening to yourself will go a long way for you to listen to others, and then others to listen to you. Listening is the first step to the path of reconnecting to the Divine. If you listen you will be heard.

 

In the quiet of silence volumes are spoken, can you hear them?

 

 

Going for the SuperBowl

The Superbowl 2013 was here. A team won, victory was declared. Onto another year for all the teams in the league to start practising again, and getting ready for the next event. I find the whole football game quite fascinating. You practice, practice, practice. Then with great strategies to defeat the opponent teams you start the systematic playoffs, till you reach semi finals and then the finals. As I understand the game the object is to get a touchdown with the most number of points, but to get from one end to the other you have to defeat the opponents largely built players as they try to wrestle you to the ground in a tackle. Is this not much like life itself?

The victory is the purpose why we choose to play the game of life representing final glory, the touch down goal represents the joy of satisfaction of the journey, the ball may represent our inner peace that we hold onto tightly. Sometimes it is unfortunately in the hands of someone else ( the opposing team) and sometimes in the hands of a trusted team player. When in the game we take the ball from yard to yard, advancing it a little at a time, but in some instances, with the right strategy advance it from one end to the other in one amazing swoop. When stuck, kicking it helps, to get it jump started, and your peace can achieve tremendous lift and ground all the way to the end field goal. The opposing team players are lifes obstacles that hinder the progress of your peace, but nothing is insurmountable. The purpose of the obstacles ( players) is to take you down in a tackle but also give you the opportunity to dodge them or get stronger. You pick yourself up out of the pile and retake your peace ball and start again, but always you start from where you left off. The field is the entire span of life. You have struggles from the beginning till the end. Your huddles are your strategy sessions when you stop and rethink your plan of action of how to face the "enemy" or lifes hurdles. Despite the best play and doing everything right you may still be defeated, but even this is temporary, This is not failure, this is life.

Your teachers and parents are your coaches, your team players are your friends and family who are always with you in this game. Your body armor and outfit with helmet is your body. The bright lights are the illumination on your field to lead you to victory, and the fans are just that, spectators in life, some like you, some hate you, some do not care, but they are just other people like yourself judging but really have no impact on you. The cheerleaders, well I leave that up to your discretion. Perhaps they are the part of you that needs cheering up or the part of you that needs that last "hurray" to get you to the end.

Have you ever been to a stadium when it is empty? The silence is deafening. It is a life waiting to be filled with spectators, teams, coaches, their entourages. The pomp, the fanfare, the vendors, the smells and the sounds  are all part of the joy of the event. The field is awaiting the game to be played, else it serves no purpose. You have to play the game to experience it,otherwise what is the point. You can watch it on TV, but life is not about re-runs and playbacks, and only those who have been in the game, winning or losing know the true nature of victory or defeat. You have to live your life and play YOUR game to experience it, no one can do that for you.  

Holding on to your peace is important, keep it close and never lose sight of it. This is one ball you do not want to drop or give away to anyone. Kick it high and straight towards your field goal and make it count. Send your peace soaring. Do not despair if you fall short, because in the end you will make it to the goal, even it means getting piled on at many yard intervals in the process, because that is what life is all about, picking yourself up and moving on with your peace.

Can you feel yourself holding the victory cup at your super bowl?

It's past 10 o'clock

It is past ten o'clock.

 Cant sleep. Tossing and turning, Thoughts of the day constantly racing through the mind. Tired yet unable to welcome any restorative sleep. Looking up at the ceiling and looking at the shadows.The answer is not like in the advertisements in buying a Sleep number bed, or a Tempur Pedic Bed. The change of the bed will not improve your sleep. Been there done that !!

 

Sometimes it is hard to connect to our subconscious and allow the body and mind to relax and rest so that the soul is free to explore and choose. The soul, the subconscious or the spirit never sleeps, it does not need to. It is always awake and trying to guide us, talk to us, but the mind gets in the way, and then rules the thoughts, feelings, and keeps the engine of the  body to be in a constant state of idle function, sometimes in acceleration mode all the time. We keep processing and processing all the events of the day, what people have said or not said, done or not done, the lives of our family members and friends, activities planned for the following day, days  or week. This then usually leads to either a visit with your doctor who may give you sleeping medications or you could always try home remedies like a warm glass of milk. You could even try walking around the house, reading a book or playing soft music, or listening  to white noise or the sound of the surf. In any case these solutions rarely bring true restorative sleep, temporary fixes for a deeper problem.

 

The solution is simpler than you think, and it does not require counting sheep, Meditation. Following each breath in and out, and with each breath out let go. Let go of the stresses, let go of your fears, let go of your burdens you have been carrying around. You are not going to solve all the worlds problems this night so avoid trying to do so. Let go of it. Let go of your anger, hate, and troubles with each breath out. With each breath in take in the solace that goodness is coming your way. Take in the gratitude of being able to breath free clean air and the thankfulness for your life as it is. Take in the understanding of the knowledge of peace. Take in the moment. Live in it, Be the moment, and then feel the warmth of sleep over power you. Let it sink into every muscle, tendon, ligament, bone. Then into every cell. Like a wave let it flood your mind, body,heart and spirit allowing your healing to begin. The soul gets freed from the conscious bondage and connects with the universe, the past, present and the future, connecting with the divine.

Letting go is important in the conscious and unconscious states alike. If we let go when we  are awake, then it is easier to fall asleep and then let go automatically in the unconscious. Sleep is necessary, we cannot live on 2 hours of sleep a night. At least cannot keep it up for long. The mattress, the blanket, the pillow are all just there. It is the mind that needs to sleep and not be in a state of reaction, but your soul needs to awaken to creation. The universe is talking to you through your feelings, but you need to listen. Your feelings need to be heard through your thoughts, and your thoughts need to be be clear. This can be achieved through your sleep or peaceful tranquil meditation.

 

You rarely will remember your dreams, but in the dream state your soul lightens and is free to travel anywhere, everywhere and to any time and meet anyone. Hence in life when we are running around spending our time reacting to everything with little time  creating, when we come across someone, or something or somewhere, it may feel like deja vu. It is your soul reminding you of an experience you already have had with someone, somewhere at sometime. Spend sometime with yourself and ask youself if this is all true, your answer will be surprisingly a positive one.

 

Heal yourself from within, Nite nite !!

Certifications and Credentials

The world holds us to a higher standard in every aspect and walk of life. Whether you are in the health care field, the auto industry, the legal profession, work in a supermarket, or even a landscaper or work in the swimming pool business, you are required to have a certification, which usually requires an examination, then a fee is paid for a framed plaque. Whatever service you wish to purchase, for example you want to go to a mechanic and get your car fixed. You pretty much always check out the numerous credentials on the walls informing you that the service manager or the service technician got an award for either knowing what they were doing or for just being a customer satisfying person ( someone who listens to you vent !) The same holds true if you go into the offices of professionals such as dentists, doctors, lawyers or CPAs. The certifications on the wall from variety of money making organizations verifying that an expensive examination was passed and the person is credentialed to provide their service. 

Now most will say, well of course we want someone to be certified ! I agree too, for is that not  the reason why one goes to the school for that occupation or profession? However, just because an examination is performed, does not mean anything to verify that someone can really do their job or provide excellent quality of service. It is the false sense  of security we get from seeing a calligraphed signed paper in a nice frame hanging on the wall  that lures us in. Perhaps there are more important qualities that need certification and credentialing and then celebrated for all to see and appreciate.

Such qualities to name but a few,  are kindness, compassion , love, gratitude, patience, thoughtfulness or peacefulness. Where are these certifications or plaques that we as a society have chosen to ignore to celebrate and honor or even appreciate that speaks volumes about the individual in comparison to what we have now. I can easily point out individuals with these big titles and glorious fancy reports in several professions who do not  even have one of the qualities described above. But I wont. Our focus is so much on pleasing others that enriching ourselves is forgotten. 

I believe we have to have a larger view of our humanity and not be short sighted into what self appointed bonafide organizations with short and long mnemonics that test our patience and resolve with unnecessary testing and threats, tell us to think. These establishments hold these pieces of paper over the individual's heads like dangling carrots and make them beholden to them for allegiance, else the consumer (us) will look away from them.  We have to believe in ourselves and our fellow man alike, and only once trust  is forged, can we move forward in self advancement and evolution. We need to hold the world to a higher standard by holding ourselves to that same standard.

So go for the credential examination of endurance, strength, love, compassion, listening, understanding, politeness, decency, tolerance and respect and pass it with flying colors. Unfortunately you will not get a framed paper of certification for your sincere efforts, but you just may get a grateful smile or a warm hug. 

Honey where is the list?

Things to do, things to do, there are always more things to do.

 

 I have always been a list person. I make my daily, weekly, monthly lists of things to do, things to get, things to read, things to get or buy, list of people to call. Things to be done by certain time points, goals, targets, chores inside the house, chores outside the house, they all get put onto these lists. I have back ups of the back up lists ( including the copy of the list  I give to my wife to help me with the things to do). It is endless and more over relentess.  To boot I then even can highlight them in multiple colors.  These days lists can be in paper form, or digital ( on the computer, or on your mobile device). I recently found Apps for the smartphone that will remind you of items on the list that are overdue or need to get done. Voice command lists, and commanding voice reminder lists are all available with the new devices. A "post-it note" for the computer screen or for your smart phone  is a frequently used application. All of these reminders, notes, to do lists, can all be color coded, alphabetized, categorized and filed !! The insanity of list making is an obsession that goes on till we decide to stop it. WE drive ourselves to our early graves with many such an obsession, but why do we do it? 

 

Is it our need for control of our environments, our lives and the lives of friends and family or is it the  perceived sense of control that we crave. Until we give up that control, we cannot move on with our lives, and open up the wondrous possibilities that are waiting for us at every turn. Imagine if the focus was not on the lists, but more on the spontaneous moment to moment activities. There is a lot to be said about "living in the moment." We make lists of our New Years resolutions, then when they are not fulfilled we are so distraught that we have not lived up to our expectations, or resolutions but moreover that we  did not live up to our lists !! 

 

The lists eventually drive us in all directions. Endless activities for the kids to do ( dance, gym, swimming, karate, music etc. ), infinite chores at home, horizonless  places to go, and then we are swamped in a sea of "must haves and must dos" that we drown in them, since there is never any time for us to complete all these tasks and just breathe. Fatigued, fed up, frustrated we give up. The lists can be long or they can be filled with arduous tasks which we postpone to other lists. An example is I recently hurt my shoulder and in physical therapy a list of exercises were given to me. Yet I only tackled for the most part the easier of the therapies. For proper healing and stretching I was correctly advised that it was the tougher exercises that had to be attempted, and so I went on my way to do exactly that, the harder items on the list.  Taking care of the important items on the list and letting go of the rest may help declutter mind body and spirit from all the unnecessary that plagues our lives. We eventually are beholden to the list! A life of lists of accomplishments, successes or failures, are how we define ourselves. Jumping from list to list, day to day, year to year, lifetime to lifetime without realizing the beauty of the in-between. 

I sometimes wonder what if I were to replace these lists with more important items and tasks how would I feel. What would my perspective be? Lets try a little exercise if you are in the mood of making lists ! You might as well make it fun. Here goes. 

 

Make a top five item list in each of the following categories:

 

1) Advices you want to teach your child to aide them in their future 

2) Places you must see 

3) Friends you must meet 

4) Good qualities to comment on to your nearest loved one.

5) If the world was ending in a week what do you absolutely want to do before you die?

6) Good qualities about yourself

7) Ways you have changed yourself

8) Ways you would like to change yourself

9) Your definition of peace

10) Your impression of happiness

 

( feel free to expand the list to your discretion !!) 

 

Perhaps lists of kindness, good deeds, ways to help someone, ways to change the world are more important than the mundane paper or digital lists that we make that clutter our desks, phones, computers and clog up our minds. 

 

I often wonder how people without lists function?  Probably just fine. I am going to try that this year. Let go, slow down and enjoy the moment and be list free. Cast your lists and cares to a strong east wind, and explore the unimaginable. Put being list free on your list of things to do, put it at the top of the list !!