A Fathers Day

June 16, 2013. Fathers Day is here again. It comes every year with great pomp and celebration with advertisements for dads gifts with special discounts and incentives for dad with competetive must haves like handy power  tools, executive desk toys, macho gardening implements and stylish clothing, all to cherish the fathers we have. Greeting cards galore that illustrate the father who sits in his big dad lazy boy chair drinking beer and doing nothing are in every store for the picking. But is that really the image that comes to mind when we think about our fathers. When we imagine our fathers when we are young little children, we can envision a man big and strong with unlimited intelligence, bravado, and ability to perform any feat. A man you can respect, a shoulder to lean on ( or leg depending on your size!), a confidante, a friend at times, a role model at others. Somewhere in the process as we grow older and independant we realize the fallacy and know that our fathers are not the "Man of Steel" and cannot really leap tall buildings in a single bound, ( not so sure about the look that could kill though !). We second guess their advices, brush aside the suggestions, dismiss their ideas as quick as dejavue, as we merge into adulthood.

A father's compassion and love for his child never dies. Being a first time father myself of a soon to be 2 year old, gives me pause at times as I can vividly remember his birth, his first few days and months, the first year, and every moment in between. The compassion and love is self perpetuating as are the lessons taught by generations of fathers. The wisdom accumulated over a lifetime of experience imparted to the child to help not hinder is one of the goals of an involved father. No father intentionally wishes to harm or hurt their offspring. I wonder what I am trying to teach my son, will it be remembered ? will it bear fruit later? I think it will as it shows each day as my son builds on the knowledge from the day before and integrates it with his daily activities.

So true it can be said with your Source. A Divine father wishing only the best for you so that you may rise to your greatest potential, yet our image of Him changes with our moods, our unfulfilled desires or fears. We discard Him when we are dissatisfied with the way things manifest in our lives, blaming him for our misery, yet plead for His mercy when the situations are dire. We did the same when we were children, always going to dad for help, but as we are older believe we are above it all and pride gets in the way of open dialogue, but when things are bad blame it on our childhood.

 I think that we should never forget this sacred bond and the relationship with our father (divine or mortal) since we live such short lives full of distractions. The time may come and go when you can communicate effectively all that you have always wished to say and feel but never had the opportunity to do so, leading to guilt and regret in the future.  So this fathers day if you have the chance, just sit by his side and enjoy the moment, whether you say a little or say a lot. Whether he says a little or says nothing at all, volumes are spoken just being there, being present, being together. 

To all fathers, fathers to be, a very Happy Fathers Day. It is an honor and a privilege to be one.  

Trading your happiness

We make decisions on a regular basis from moment to moment that affects us quite radically if we are not careful. We understand the concept of trading. You exchange one thing for another. But what you are trading must be of equal if not greater value. In our lifetimes, there are numerous examples of this and some transactions lead to a less than worthy exchange.This leads to stress, and unravelling of the mind, with a downward spiral of malcontent, frustrations, disappointment and eventual anger. Why was that trade not a good one, and what did we lose in the process. Sometimes we do not even realize the transaction until it is too late. When you swap one thing for another, and unwittingly realize that the trade was not fair, these emotions arise that will take you down the wrong road. Whatever you trade has to be fair, or you lose your happiness. What is the price of losing your happiness?

 

Imagine a dollar bill that is brand new in mint condition, and it now is launched into circulation. It changes owners innumerable times, changing hands,wallets, purses, cash drawers, and sometimes even goes through the washer  in a pocket of your jeans. But as worn as it might be, fraying at the edges, almost faded, it still holds its value. A dollar bill is a dollar bill till you give it away. And so is the case with your happiness. It is a very important commodity but we do not respect it and it leads to our eventual destruction and lack of value when we give it away. We succumb to the decisions of others either at home or at work or literally anywhere to shape our future, our happiness, our purpose and our lives. Is this a fair trade?

 

Living in the moment and enjoying the moment without fear or prejudice enables us to retain the integrity of that happiness. We can shape the way it looks, feels, and augment its power to unlimited potential all by a slight change and tweek of attitude. Close your eyes and imagine everything  that makes you happy. Whether it is a beautiful sunny day, a colorful flower, a child's smile, an unexpected call from a dear friend, a tasty treat. Anything that fills you up with light heartedness and joy and happiness. Now list everything that gives you unhappiness and makes you frown. Whether it is arguing with a coworker, fighting with a loved one over trivial matters, scolding a child for an irrelevant issue, panic over the economy or your job. Anything that resembles your fear, anxiety, or stress. Now do a tally. Are any items in the happy category worth giving up and being traded for the unhappy items? Like baseball cards are you willing to trade them for a lesser item? I think not.

 

Similarly we are in such a negative habit pattern that we automatically trade our joy, our happiness so quickly we do not even realize that the transaction has been made. Slow down, do less, and be more present and aware of your trading habits. Do not break the bank with so much of loss that you go broke with nothing left to trade because that is when your mental destruction is not far from you. Your lack of peace is never worth giving up for anyone else's happiness or for anything. This is not a selfish statement, since if you are happy and at peace, all you have to give freely is more of the same and when you are in that frame of mind, you are giving it unconditionally, and then the trade is like compound interest with no loss, and it grows and returns in leaps and bounds.  

 

Make your dollar bill value into a hundred dollars to make it worth trading. Your happiness is worth more than you know.

Are you normal?

We hear it all the time, and we question it about ourselves as often. What exactly is normal? Why is it so important to be normal or not deviate from the norm in society? What does it mean when some one says he or she is not normal?  Normal is a term describing conforming to a standard. Who sets this "standard" Is it the law to be normal, or is it society with generations of influences and expectations that set us rigid in our ways to then conform to this standard and be relieved when we are told by our peers that we are normal, or rather someone else other than us is abnormal.

If everyone was this "normal" person then life would probably be not only quite boring but also quite stagnant. There would be no interest in deviating from the norm and be somebody different. Imagine an entire civilization of drones, would we still be individuals then. Each person behaving exactly in the same way, doing the same sort of thing, talking, acting, performing if you will to the societal expectations. Unfortunately, with pressures from regulations either through government or those that we pose upon our selves we have become quite normalized, and standardized. Our daily drudgery of work, home, chores, and monotone lives leave us all feeling worn out, beaten down, and tired. Check your own level of energy and you will realize the same. You are not deviating from the standard norm. So therefore you are now normal ! Congratulations. 

It starts from school, and in the home. Behaviors that encourage free thinking, or behaving are considered abnormal and so are squashed by teachers, parents, and peers. You are molded into the society's idea of what a person should be, and does not encourage the person to truly be an individual with creativity, spontaneity, vision,  to explore all opportunities. An example  is  in school let us say a child is drawing a picture of a tree. You and I know that a tree has green leaves, brown trunk etc, but to a child drawing a tree can be an expression of freedom and creativity. They can draw it in any color, and shape.  But to only be then told that they are wrong and "do it this way" is quite common place, thereby suppressing individuality for the sake of joining mainstream education. 

Life is like being on the highway. There are fast, medium and slow drivers, yet we are all meant to follow the speed limit. Some follow the sign, and get to their destination at the appointed time, some speed faster and get to their destination faster, and some drive at the pace of a snail and never get anywhere on time. I am not advocating violating traffic law, just that use your own judgement of normalcy. We are always comparing ourselves to each other, which further restricts our performance in being unique. Unfortunately constant comparison, leads to constant judgement, which leads to most of our problems of dissatisfaction, mistrust, resentment which then leads to breakdown of communication, anger and hatred and deviation from the norm. But yet these behaviors go unchecked, so then this becomes the new norm. 

We may have been cut from the same divine cloth, but once born are unique in every way. We should allow our light within to flourish each day and blow out of the Bell curve. So next time you see a person with blue hair, or tattooed from head to toe, or someone  not wearing the latest fashion trends, do not judge them, instead smile and know that being unique and expressing your own individual uniqueness is the new normal. 

We spend so much time and effort trying to be "normal" no one really even knows what that means anymore, and then you spend hours on the couch of your therapist trying  to figure out why you are not normal. And then more hours trying to change yourself to becoming normal, and then the remaining lifetime miserable that you are normal. 

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror, are you happy in the skin that you are in? Are you feeling normal? or are you feeling like the radiant beautiful uniqueness that you were born with and meant to be?

A Victimless crime?

A Victimless Crime

A crime by definition is a conduct through either action, omission or neglect that breaks the rule or laws set by society. A victim is someone who is harmed by a crime. A victimless crime is defined by act that is deemed illegal but does not directly harm or violate the rights of another individual. But what if the other individual is you, and you are the criminal and the victim, is it still victimless?

When we harm another there are many ways we can do it. Physical, verbal, mental, and  emotional are just some of the ways. But in each of these modalities, I wonder who is really the victim. He or she that is abused or the abuser. Societal laws and cultural norms would probably favor the abused, however let us not forget the abuser. When you either hit, speak out with bad words, play ill-mind games, or demonstrate emotional blackmail, I think it first hurts you before anything even materializes. You have to have that thought in your mind of performing one of these bad efforts. The moment that thought even arises within you, you have already hurt yourself. And not just at the intellectual level, but at the spirit level. If everything that arises from you starts from a thought, then the source of this too has to be the creator of the thought, your Self. 

You have to generate tremendous ill will, hatred and anger from this thought to be able to thrust it into the present through physical, verbal, mental or emotional manifestations. The torture you are putting your own soul to co-create these ideas are not even worth it. A series of chemical responses occur instantly at the cellular level when you begin on this troublesome journey, eventually causing deleterious effects on your vessels, your organs and your body. So if the same creator within can generate so much badness it only stands to reason that you can generate the opposite with even better effects. If  your soul decides that it will refrain from ill thoughts, ill speaking, ill doing, ill acting and replace them with the spark of creativity, positivity, happiness, joy and harmony then only these shall arise from within, and come out of your very being, from the very pores of your body. A clear creative mind that manifests trust, connection, understanding, can only then do the same through the physical, verbal, mental and emotional.

 You feel better and your cells will thank you ! Do you not feel better when you have physically helped someone even if it is simply holding the door open, you always get a thank you. You feel better when you speak kindly to someone, you always get a smile back or diffuse a tense situation. You offer love to someone you will always get that love back. You avoid mind games and are clear with your intentions, you get more receptive people to work with you to help fulfill a common goal.  

No one except for yourself can police your thoughts, and your feelings that come from your Self. Don't hurt yourself first. Be your own neighborhood watch. 

Let them eat cake !!

I am sure you are familiar with the phrase by Marie Antoinette, Queen of France who during the French Revolution said "Let them eat cake" when informed that the peasants could not afford to eat bread. Unknowingly she probably had a point, if you do not like the horrible circumstances that you are in then change it to the reality you wish to live in. It is easy. With faith, dedication, and clear focus of thought and choice you can achieve anything. But then why does it not happen for most people, living in poverty, miserable conditions, or working at jobs where they are unhappy, in relationships that are full of hurt and pain? The answer is because at some level they choose to be in that situation. Their spirit is here to experience something, unconscious to their outward mind and body, but once the experience is complete things change. 

Look at the argument the other way. Why are some people always appear to get everything the way they want. Are they lucky, do they live charmed lives? No they simply know what they want and are telling that subconsciously to the universe and living it automatically. They choose to eat the cake and not the bread. It is the fundamental thought of how you wish to live, and allow it to come into existence. 

Now baking your cake and eating is another interesting phrase. Apparently you cannot do this. I think this is quite ridiculous. What is the point of taking the time to getting and then putting the  ingredients together, spending time to bake it into a cake and then not being able to eat it. You can precisely bake it, eat it, love it, bake some more!! To me this old adage was misinterpreted and what it really means is that you put the effort in and you enjoy it afterwards. Cakes are sweet, delicious and tasty, so is the reward when doing the right thing. You receive peace, tranquility and satisfaction, with each good deed, good word and good thought like with each morsel of cake. Putting the right ingredients is the key. Patience, understanding, hope, good effort, presence of mind, all mixed in, baked with love at the right temperature ( temperament), result in a fruitful cake of YOUR choice. The more you bake, the more cakes come forth. The more you work at it, the more goodness will come forth. The more gratitude you mix into the cake, the sweeter it ends up.

Can you taste your yummy cake yet? Don't forget to share it. 

A Mother's Day

A delightful day of joyeous celebration. An interesting day with a great history celebrated all over the world at slightly different days than when we celebrate it here in the USA. Nevertheless a much loved day when children make breakfast for their mothers, and shower them with lovable hugs and memorable kisses. Fine breakfast buffets in wonderful restaurants, special gifts and humorous warm greeting cards are exchanged to make the whole affair a day to remember. Mothers as a rule are devoted to their offspring. I am sure all mothers appreciate the sentiments and gratitude offered to them, as they remember the fond times of fun while bringing up their young. I am sure the unfond memories of late nights, cranky children and exhausted mothers easily melt away into oblivion. Stories are told, songs are written, and the love flows, and sometimes tears flow too ! No coincidence that Mothers day also occurs in spring time when all of Mother nature blooms as she unleashes her love upon all life around. Let us not forget this day as giving thanks and simple quiet reflection unto the mother earth that began all life, and continues to nourish infinitely diverse life on this planet, creatures and plant life alike. Everyone and everything born has a mother. We remember her in the perfect way. Kind, gentle, protective, compassionate, loving and patient. A mother's spit is always able to clean anything, and mothers always had the solution for all your problems. Magically, nothing was ever impossible, and no task too great for a mother not to be able to do. Regardless of age of mother or child, a mother will always be a mother, and that relationship is sacred and cannot change. Such is also the relationship to our Mother Earth with her gentle winds, life giving rains, protective shadowing clouds, and strong earth. Natures powerful energy all around us easily reminds us of our place as we are still in our infancy, as a child having a tantrum, our behavior is quickly curtailed. I would urge you to spend time with your mother on this day, make her feel special, let her know of your love. Anger, bad memories or disagreements be gone. Allow forgiveness, love, gratitude fill both your hearts. Close or far, pick up the phone and make the call. Then go out into a garden, sit on the grass, and close your eyes and take in the moment. A simple heartfelt thanks can be effortlessly projected out to Mother Earth for all that she is, all that she has done and continues to do so. A gesture of kindness can be performed like picking up a piece of garbage, planting a flower or a tree, turning over garden soil, watering a plant, all help reduce your carbon footprint, and also demonstrates your gratitude to nature. A simple prayer, To all mothers, and mothers to be and Mother Earth, thank you for who you are and all you have done, are doing and will do in the future. Your loving child....... Happy Mothers Day

Talking to trees

Ever walked into a forest, sun light streaming through the high branches illuminating the dusty ground. If you are still and just be in the moment, you can actually hear the trees talk to each other. Just because the voices are very soft and not in your tongue does not mean that the trees cannot speak. Now I am not referring to the trees in the movie Lord of the Rings, but close enough. All of creation talks to each other. The animals, birds, insects and all botanical life  communicate with each other. The divinity within all life communicate. Misery occurs if there is a breakdown of this fundamental process. 

Seeds carried by the wind and insects or birds help pollinate and germinate the plant life from far distant lands. Trees talk to their distant cousin trees in other forests planning out natures schedule. The creatures of the air and land do the same, and in unison entire ecosystems are formed with simple communication. Then why do we still have a problem. We are humans supposedly the most intelligent and highly conscious yet we have issues of communication with our fellow man regardless if we are in families, or not. I am having second thoughts as to how evolved we really are, despite our apparent advances. 

If we slow down, do less and open our selves with true patience, and bring forth our divinity, we can interact with the divinity within all of nature, and feel our connection to everything and everyone all around us. Being part of something bigger than our tiny selves is the first part of realizing our true nature, and then surrendering to a universal source, to a higher plan we can communicate humbly with all concerned. We are just as much a part and parcel of nature as anything else occurring in nature. Knowledge can only be transmitted and progressed through communication. Wisdom is applied knowledge. There is much wisdom in nature, and it is trying to communicate with you, but are you willing to listen and talk even if it is to a tree. These great apparent silent souls will listen, and by talking you will hear your own answers to your problems. 

Sit under a tree for a while and eves drop on the conversation, you may be surprised on what you will learn.